Jumping the shark

It's baaaaaack.

For the 3rd time since 1989, the Senate has once again failed to approve an amendment to the Constitution to ban the practice of burning the United States flag. This time, it failed by one single vote. Opponents of the bill said burning the flag was a critical proponent of free speech, and any stifling of such would go against the principles upon which this nation was formed. Former presidential candidate John Kerry went so far as to say, "Our country is founded on the right to be stupid", a fact that is pretty much ratified on a daily basis within the Washington beltway, as well as in the line at any ATM machine in our great land.

I implore you, from here on in exercise your rights as free and equal citizens, and walk with John Kerry, Senator Hillary Clinton, and all the other's who voted against the amendment. Follow their lead, and hold your head high while you do it.

If you want to call an obese man a "fat bastard", you are hereby protected by your First Amendment right to say so. If you find someone in front of you at the DMV a fine candidate for the new reality show, "How stupid is this woman?", by all means, let her know it. If they get upset at you and call you a callous, insensitive, asshole...stand loud and stand proud. You're protected by the First Amendment, and you should strive to let them know that many of our greatest Senators have told you so officially.

I also think we should set up burn stations around the country in a show of solidarity to our fellow countrymen. Let's start with one at a place like...oh, I don't know...how about Ft. Bragg, North Carolina? Bring your flags to the home of the 82nd Airborne Division and show them how you - the intelligent nationalistic citizen - know how to exercise your rights and privileges, and burn that baby right in front of an infantry platoon. Show America you have the courage of your convictions, and do so on national t.v. If any of those stupid soldiers who don't have half the courage and intellect that you possess object to your actions, remind them that "it's just a piece of cloth, and as a caring, compassionate American, I have the right to do this."

Let's stand up for the rights of all the ugly people to be called homely, it's the American way. Tell people everywhere that John Kerry said they have the right to be stupid, and stand up for that right. He certainly does.

And don't forget to buy some donuts for the fat bastard in the cubicle next to you. He'll appreciate your patriotism.