As sure as the Sun rises

How to get your Blog read by dozens, daily:

5. Post drawings done by children, complete with cute and amusing anecdotes about the horrors of changing diapers and chasing school buses down suburbia's streets. Chance of readership: 20%

4. Avoid topics that stir argumentative thought or emotion. Make it an essential requirement of your blog to use only 3 syllable words, unless they are words like "Philadelphia" and "Delicatessen". Chance of readership: 37%

3. Post lots of pictures of birds, squirrels on fence tops, and your amazing vacation trip to the Carlsbad Canyons. Explain to all of us - once and for all - the difference between a stalactite and a stalagmite. Chance of readership: 51%

2. Use the word "sex" in your blog title, and talk publicly about the things you like to do in the bedroom or wherever. Chance of readership: 72%

1. Write an anti-male, "How come all 3 billion men on the planet are totally screwed up and don't like me?" blog. Hundreds women, all in the same state of affairs, will commiserate with you, telling you how much they too are delightful to be around, and how they cannot explain why all 3 billion men on the planet too stupid to see this. This will in turn, cause hundreds more to send you advice, telling you how they - charming, beautiful, and a "real catch" - handle the 3 billion or so males on the planet that are obviously so blind and brain dead, they can't see the Forrest through the football game. Talk of such things like his inablility to recognize snuggling time, and by no means ever become the least bit introspective with regards to your own attitudes and behaviors. Lay blame squarely on the male of the species, and you will develop friendships in kind from thousands floating in the same Titanic-like row boats you are in. Your blog will be more popular than Lindsay Lohan at the Tuesday night AA meeting on Wilshire Blvd, Beverly Hills. Chance of readership: 98%

What? The truth hurts? Always has, hasn't it?