As hurricane Gustav barrels down on New Orleans, republican Senator John McCain and President Bush are preparing their apology speeches for the hurricane about to hit New Orleans. We here at JL4 News have exclusive information that part of each speech is a formal apology from the entire republican party for the second horrific hurricane in 3 years to hit the city built 7 feet below sea level. President Bush's speech reads in part, "I am sorry that I caused not one - but two hurricanes during my second term in office."
In a disappointing show of partisan politics, Senator Barack Obama will not be raising his hands and calming the raging seas, saying in part, "I don't do that gig any more. Making the blind guy see wore my ass out."
President Bush said earlier today, "We're hopeful for less resdiucjisdal...redujidal...what's that word Bob?"
"Residual, Mr. President"
"Oh right...residual effects from this storm." "Damn...that sure doesn't look like residual. Looks more like some Rumanian word or sumpin', know what I mean?"
Former Senator John Kerry said if the President wanted to truly make an impact, he should swiftly boat out into NO harbor and put a stop to this nonsense.
Al Gore was asked what his theory on the cause was, and he said, "You seen that vendor around here? The one with that silver stand? He makes the most aaaaaawsome cheeseburgers. Why I had 7 of them for lunch on my private plane. Mmmmmmm.....mmmmmm. They were good. What was your question again?"
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2 comments:
Maybe if Oprah asked him very nicely he'd reconsider? I mean, really, what's a cat 3 or 4 hurricane for the chosen One?
She can't stop crying long enough to ask.
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