The Sports Parents Museum

The year: 2054

The following are the types of exhibits represented in the Sports Parents Museum:



Momus Whimpasosus. This creature is well defined at the younger ages. Her little one could never be told what to do by a coach; never be knocked down during a game; and never criticized because "those other kids are just too rough". The only thing more prevalent than excuses was appeasement.







Parentus Ohgawdatile. The unbelieving parent. "How could we possibly be losing this game?" The realization that Kyle is NOT going to play Major League Baseball has yet to sink in. She still thinks he's bound for millionaire glory. The reason he can't hit is because "that damn coach pitching doesn't know what he's doing!"






Megaphonasops. "Goooooooooo Brittany!!! Gooooooo!!!!" "HURRY UP BRIT - HURRY UP - HURRRRRRRRY UUUUUUPPPP!!!!
(Ring ring)
"Oh hi Margie. Nope, just sitting here watching my daughters game".


Incuffsaraptor. This is the famous dad at the hockey game. "What did you
say?" "What?" "Why you sonava..."





Leevmealoneasaur. The rarest form of the species. So rare, all the museum has is an artists rendering. Stands apart from the others, and simply watches the game. Cheers when appropriate, but never too loudly. Wants the best for everyone, not just his or her own kid. Thinks sports is great for intellectual, social, and physical development. Wasn't stupid enough to bank on his kid's college being a freebie. Child grew up into a productive adult in the business community, and now coaches little kids with the same ideals his dad instilled in him.