News from Baseball

Although both have been either officially or "un"offically retired from baseball in 2008, Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds still manage to make headlines.

Sources at JL4 News have obtained never-before disclosed documents that show at the 2004 All-Star game Clemens and Bonds both injected themselves with the self-absorbed-officious-prick-hormone, "Anabolicum Mephirst".