The Fallacy of Youth Sports

It has become fashionable in today's politically correct-I didn't do it-you talkin' to me?-Society to write articles on line or in the print media blasting the terrible parenting that is going on with respect to youth sports.

We've all seen 'em, and we've all read 'em.

"Parent sues over playing time". "Cheerleaders mom kills competitor cheerleader". "Man gets mad at another man at hockey game, pushes him to ground where he hits his head and dies". "Fights break out a Little League game over balls and strikes calls".

Yup...these things all happened. However, the solution to the problem is not to write article after article about how parents are obsessed with achieving their own goals through their children. The solution is not to make blanket statements like "Parents are all out to get college scholarships for their kids and a future in professional sports and its millions of dollars". "Parents don't understand sports and push their children too hard". And the biggie: "Kids play sports only to please their parents". Blah blah blah....blah blah blah.

I'm a parent who has children in various stages of sports, and I also coach. This means I'm around sports and sports parents virtually all the time in my non-working hours and weekends, and I'm here to tell you nothing could be further from the truth. Parents understand 99% more than they are given credit for, and that includes the truths about college scholarships and professional aspirations. Most parents are blatantly honest about their children's abilities, and a good portion of them are honest with the children themselves...however, the stories about bad parenting still keep rolling off the presses, and this leads to idiotic "solutions".

Solution #1 "Silent Days"

This is when it is put out in writing well in advance that a particular day will be declared a "Silent Day". No clapping, no cheering, no talking. My kids primarily play soccer here in Florida, and it is surreal to say the least to go to one of these complexes that have 15 fields - all filled with games going on - and hear nothing. After the fact, the inevitable newspaper account is replete with quotes from the "Silent Day" organizers, who 100% of the time proclaim it a "great success".

Really? I don't think so. When I myself was a part of one of these "days", I asked dozens of kids how they liked it. Wanna know what they said? They didn't. Like it or not - criticize it or not - there is a small element of athletics where the children do indeed want to hear the cheering, and do indeed want to know they're making mom or dad proud of them.

Solution #2 Don't keep score

This is a variation of the abysmal politically correct educational concept where grades were not issued because child #1 gets A's and child #2 gets C's, and we can't have child #2 feeling bad about that. Of course when entire schools who did this failed proficiency tests and SAT's miserably, those programs were abandoned. Look, we live in a goals oriented society - or do you just go through life without a plan or an objective? If you do, then you're screwed, and you know it. Keeping score does not scar a child for life; and not keeping score does not fool the child into thinking they won when they clearly were part of a butt-kicking on the junior football field.

None of these "solutions" work...mainly because there really isn't a problem. This is a made-up deal, perpetuated and allowed to fester by people who have nothing better to do than stir up the pot.

Sports is sports, and it is both mentally and physically wonderful for a child's growth. Keeping score is ok, because life itself is about keeping score...ya gotta learn it sometime. Better to learn it on the 10 year old tennis court than later in life when the person loses their job because the boss held them to a standard for the first time ever. Parents want their kids to succeed, and every once in a while they get a bit loud at a game. Interestingly enough, the other parents police themselves, and they pretty much always let the wrong-doers know it. There is nothing wrong with wanting a college scholarship or dreaming of being a pro athlete. Dreams are what spawn innovation and creative thought, so stop bitching about that as well. And lastly, if your kid gets C's in school or can't keep up on the sports field, perhaps some honest counseling, increased practice, and extra homework is in order - not rules changes which blur the lines and make failure and success virtually the same thing.

We as a society can't afford any more of this.

Peace.