There are three theories why the Dinosaur's became extinct:
1) A huge asteroid fell somewhere near the Yucatan Peninsula, causing an ice age and killing off everything except Keith Richards.
2) The Dinosaurs ate themselves out of house and home. When the food ran out, so did their time.
3) O.J. Simpson killed them.
I tend to agree with theory number 1 about the asteroid, but theory number 2 has validity as well. Dinosaurs were
consumers, and consumers....well...consume.
Everything.
Until there is nothing.
It was several billion years later that the next species of consumers came along, and that of course is us. Not consumers in a
she's a trophy-bride driving a Lincoln Navigator and if she can't go to Tiffany's, then there will be hell to pay kind of consumer.
Nope. We are energy consumers. Have been, will continue to be, and eventually we'll run out of it like our predecessors the Triceratops and his friends may or may not have, depending upon whether you believe theory 1, 2, or 3. In any case, we certainly DO have a problem, and you can't blame this one on Dubya. In my lifetime, I can remember every President going back to Richard M. Nixon seated in his chair at the White House, television camera's rolling, telling us how we must reduce our dependence on foreign oil.
Every last one of them. Presidents Nixon, Gerald Ford, James T. Carter, Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan, George HW Bush, William J Clinton, and George W Bush. Both parties represented. None of them did anything but talk about it. Congress has changed hands as far as the power of the majority goes several times in the last 40 years...Congress did nothing either. The automobile manufacturers helped out by designing cars and SUV's that weigh as much as a 757, but tend to use a lot more fuel. And see above for the
trophy brides to know who buys and drives those beasts.
Soooo...whose fault is it? Yours. Mine. The Sierra Club's. The American realtors and commercial construction companies. The strip-mall association of America (yeah, yeah, I know. Shuddup...I can make this up as I go along. It's my blog).
And now gas is inchin' towards $3 a gallon, and Hurricane Yagoddabeeshittinme hasn't even landed yet. Think the price is going down when that happens? Think again.
Ok. We know it's our fault. We know we're consumers, and
yes out there my tree-hugging protesters, I saw you drive up in that Hummer and park it where you didn't think anyone would see you. You're here protesting against tapping into our own reserves and building new refineries because you're afraid the one-legged, bi-sexual, green-horned, crustacean whoop-a-dong flea might get flushed out of his comfy home deep in the branches of the Alaskan oak preserve if we pump a few gallons of oil so I can afford to both go to work
and return without having to rob a 7-Eleven along the way.
Ok. I hear you. Feed a cold; starve a fever. Feed a Saudi Arabian terrorism funder, starve an American child. Or is it starve a cold....awwww hell, I can never remember.
So carry on with the environmental arguments, and get really violent if someone disagrees with you. Tie yourselves together in a human knot and stand in a circle around Anwar; as a matter of fact, you should do it in February. Keep up the protests, but remember you may be forcing some unfortunates to downgrade from a Hummer to an H3, and you too might even have to get rid of the Villa in Aspen. Or at least the maid.
I'm thinking what killed the Dino's was stubbornness on thier part. The Eco-Dino's wouldn't let them eat any more leaves, so that killed off the Veggie Dino's...and the meat eaters did each other in until there was only one left standing, and then he died of boredom from having to talk to Keith Richards every day.
Or maybe OJ did kill them all. Allegedly.
.jpg)
