The Best

We all have friends. At least I hope we do. Most are the passing variety; the people who enter our lives at different stages and spend some quality time with us. We love, laugh, and if we're smart - learn from these irreplaceable assets. A passing friend can be with you months or years, but inevitably the changing times and situations of our lives dictate our separation. We still hold them dear in our hearts and thoughts, but we talk no more. E-mail and the internet has allows thousands - perhaps millions - to reconnect with our lost brethren, but for the most part our passing friends are forever stored away in that hidden space in our minds where we put the memories of things "former". I have been blessed with many of these friends over the years.

The long-term kind are a different animal altogether. These are the people we connect with in ways we've never connected before. They are the souls that we can always count on for the good shoulder to cry upon, or a healthy dose of "get it together" speeches when those moments arise when we need someone to tell us to stop acting like an idiot. These friends are the ones who share with you the most important human qualities in a friendship - loyalty and ultimate trustworthiness. We all have far too few of these kinds of friends, in part because they are difficult to find, and in part because it's just too damn difficult to trust. I have maybe 2 or 3 of these friends left in my life, and I suppose I'm lucky to have that many. It's these friends that fall head-long into that category of people we actually love; not in a romantic or even platonic way, but in a caring, deeply moving way. They are the ones we vent towards (and at times about), but they are also the ones we keep coming back to, sheepishly asking for permission to once again enter their lives. We have an eternal get out of jail free card with them - and they have the same with us.

But hopefully for each of us, there is the one, the ultimate friend...the person we call "the best". If we're totally lucky, that's the one we spend the rest of our lives with. This is truly the greatest friend. So great that we choose to make another human being with them because we like each others traits so much we want to see it duplicated and perfected. So great that the loss of - or just the thought of the loss of - the other would be as devastating a blow as we could possibly absorb. Sadly, every so often we read of the 80 year old husband who dies shortly after his 80 year old bride passes, and vice versa. We see the anguish and agony on the faces of those who lose this most special of friends, their lives never again to be as happy or paved with positive expectations. This is the friend I speak of. The one person that will defend you in all your glorious incorrectness, then cart you off privately and tell you what a horses ass you just made of yourself. The person that forgives your shortcomings...revels in your silliness...and would be just as happy sitting on the bed holding your hand while you watch TV as they would be sunning themselves on a beach in Tahiti (okay, maybe that last statement about Tahiti is a bit over the top), but I think you get the idea.

Seventeen and a half years ago I found such a friend, and in the wisest move I've ever made, I asked her to marry me and refused to take "no" for an answer.

It was genius on my part...pure genius.