The Monster (Part III)

Please scroll down and read parts I & II first

New Beginnings

So the Monster was upon me, and I had come to the realization that he wasn't going to get off for quite some time. I was about to enter an entirely different dimension, with new terminology and knowledge that was going to be a necessity to learn.

And class was in session from day 1.

There are 3 types of strokes: Hemorrhagic (brain bleeding), Thrombolitic (a clot), and Ischemic (some sort of blockage other than a clot). In my case, after months of analysis by neurosurgeons, they determined the smallest vessels in my brain were not large enough to carry the blood effectively, and after a matter of time, they clogged. This could have been something at birth or something that developed over a period of time. In any case, that put my stroke in the category of Ischemic...or Ischemia on a broader perspective.

I remember having difficulties in the CT machine that morning. For some reason my sinuses were very clogged. Throw in the fact that my neck muscles on the right side were inoperative, and together it proved to be a tough challenge for me to keep my head still as they did the scan. Eventually, the technician grew exasperated and he mounted these black plastic blocks that were placed on either side of my head to stabilize it. He was in a rough mood, and evidently my inability to "freeze" was irritating him. I do remember thinking to myself, "Do you want to switch places?", which of course made me start laughing again and well....he got mad again.

Honestly, the rest of day 1 is pretty much a blur.

I went through a battery of pretty much every possible test known to modern science, and I'm grateful they not only have these tests, but that we have the skilled people to make the correct analysis based upon the results. Even in this advanced state we find ourselves in, much of medicine today is still dependent upon informed, calculated guesswork, and the people at the hospital I was in guessed correctly that day and in the succeeding days time and time again. I'm living proof of that fact right at this moment.

By nightfall, everyone concerned knew pretty much what happened to me. In simplistic terms, the lower left quadrant of the back of my brain clogged up, causing the stroke and paralyzing my entire right side. This part of the brain is called the Cerebellum, and it controls all muscular movement and coordination, as well as speech. My inability to speak was called "Acute Aphasia". I couldn't eat because I had no muscular structure that would work, and therefore no gag reflex, an essential part of swallowing. I had limited speech capacity, and was so incoherent it wasn't worth trying. I couldn't focus, and would forget what I said seconds after saying something to another person, or just forget what I was thinking of trying to say. I was a very discouraged man, and all I could see at this point was a long tunnel.

Before I went to what amounted to sleep, a nurse held a mirror in front of my face. For the first time, I was face-to-face with the monster, and I had become him. All of the skin and muscle tissue on the right side of my face had fallen. Literally, I was sagging close to a full inch. My facial features - although still distinguishable - were rather ghastly. Add to this the fact that both eyes were bloodshot, but the right eye especially looked as if it had been stabbed. It was so deep a red, it was nearly purple in spots.

As I drifted off to sleep, this was the image I had of myself. Strange...I always thought there would be pain associated with a stroke. Obviously, I had no idea.