The Riddle

Double click on this link to hear this song...It will kick you out, but as the song is loading in another window, come back here to scroll down slowly through the Lyrics.

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There was a man back in '95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him

Wait, what's the sense in life?
Come over me, Come over me

He said,

Son why you got to sing that tune?
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see... You will see

Then he said,

Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

Picked up my kid from school today

Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can't live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me

He said,

Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all
Still every mother's child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me

And Hey Dad
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

I said,

Son for all I've told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world...
Who am I?

There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see

He said... You looking for a clue I Love You free...

The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel's eyes
A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me
Something comes over me

I guess we're big and I guess we're small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely

Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

The Fallacy of Youth Sports

It has become fashionable in today's politically correct-I didn't do it-you talkin' to me?-Society to write articles on line or in the print media blasting the terrible parenting that is going on with respect to youth sports.

We've all seen 'em, and we've all read 'em.

"Parent sues over playing time". "Cheerleaders mom kills competitor cheerleader". "Man gets mad at another man at hockey game, pushes him to ground where he hits his head and dies". "Fights break out a Little League game over balls and strikes calls".

Yup...these things all happened. However, the solution to the problem is not to write article after article about how parents are obsessed with achieving their own goals through their children. The solution is not to make blanket statements like "Parents are all out to get college scholarships for their kids and a future in professional sports and its millions of dollars". "Parents don't understand sports and push their children too hard". And the biggie: "Kids play sports only to please their parents". Blah blah blah....blah blah blah.

I'm a parent who has children in various stages of sports, and I also coach. This means I'm around sports and sports parents virtually all the time in my non-working hours and weekends, and I'm here to tell you nothing could be further from the truth. Parents understand 99% more than they are given credit for, and that includes the truths about college scholarships and professional aspirations. Most parents are blatantly honest about their children's abilities, and a good portion of them are honest with the children themselves...however, the stories about bad parenting still keep rolling off the presses, and this leads to idiotic "solutions".

Solution #1 "Silent Days"

This is when it is put out in writing well in advance that a particular day will be declared a "Silent Day". No clapping, no cheering, no talking. My kids primarily play soccer here in Florida, and it is surreal to say the least to go to one of these complexes that have 15 fields - all filled with games going on - and hear nothing. After the fact, the inevitable newspaper account is replete with quotes from the "Silent Day" organizers, who 100% of the time proclaim it a "great success".

Really? I don't think so. When I myself was a part of one of these "days", I asked dozens of kids how they liked it. Wanna know what they said? They didn't. Like it or not - criticize it or not - there is a small element of athletics where the children do indeed want to hear the cheering, and do indeed want to know they're making mom or dad proud of them.

Solution #2 Don't keep score

This is a variation of the abysmal politically correct educational concept where grades were not issued because child #1 gets A's and child #2 gets C's, and we can't have child #2 feeling bad about that. Of course when entire schools who did this failed proficiency tests and SAT's miserably, those programs were abandoned. Look, we live in a goals oriented society - or do you just go through life without a plan or an objective? If you do, then you're screwed, and you know it. Keeping score does not scar a child for life; and not keeping score does not fool the child into thinking they won when they clearly were part of a butt-kicking on the junior football field.

None of these "solutions" work...mainly because there really isn't a problem. This is a made-up deal, perpetuated and allowed to fester by people who have nothing better to do than stir up the pot.

Sports is sports, and it is both mentally and physically wonderful for a child's growth. Keeping score is ok, because life itself is about keeping score...ya gotta learn it sometime. Better to learn it on the 10 year old tennis court than later in life when the person loses their job because the boss held them to a standard for the first time ever. Parents want their kids to succeed, and every once in a while they get a bit loud at a game. Interestingly enough, the other parents police themselves, and they pretty much always let the wrong-doers know it. There is nothing wrong with wanting a college scholarship or dreaming of being a pro athlete. Dreams are what spawn innovation and creative thought, so stop bitching about that as well. And lastly, if your kid gets C's in school or can't keep up on the sports field, perhaps some honest counseling, increased practice, and extra homework is in order - not rules changes which blur the lines and make failure and success virtually the same thing.

We as a society can't afford any more of this.

Peace.

Hurricane Terminology

We here in Florida are about 24 hours or less from experiencing our 7th or 8th landfall hurricane since the summer of 2004. As a public service to those unaware, I've come up with a glossary of terms so that you too can be as informed as we are:

Advisory: Official information issued by Tropical Cyclone warning centers describing the current conditions and projected forecasts. Also, it's when the attorney leans over and whispers in his client's ear, and then the client says, "I have no recollection of that incident, Senator".

Best Track: A subjectively smoothed path, versus a precise a very erratic fix-to-fix path, based on an assessment of all available data. Best track can also be when you identify "Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding" on Elton John's "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" CD.

Center: The vertical axis or core of a tropical cyclone, or the tallest dude on the basketball team.

Center/Vortex Fix: The geographical location of the center of a tropical or subtropical cyclone. Also when a vortex addict finally gets the vortex he's been looking for all morning.

Eye: The relatively calm center of a tropical cyclone. Sometimes known in nautical terms as the word "yes". Originated in Scotland with the phrase, "Aye laddie". And remember, there is no "eye" or "aye" in t-e-a-m.

Gale Warning: A warning of 1-minute sustained winds of 39-63 mph, or when your mother-in-law Gale is about to go absolutely bonkers because she found out you quit med school to become a Buddhist Monk.

High Wind Warning: When the wife makes chili dogs and then discovers the family is out of "Beano".

Hurricane Watch: Hurricane watches are usually sold on QVC, but occasionally they can be found in fine jewelry stores.

Hurricane Warning: "Look out! The friggin' hurricane is right over there!!"

Present Movement: The best estimate of a hurricane's movement, at times related the the High Wind Warning and those damn chili dogs.

Tropical Depression: A tropical cyclone where the wind is approximately 33 mph or less; usually treated with Tropical Xanex or 3 hours of that bald, fat bastard Phil.

Whaddaphuk: The primary words uttered by the male in the household when viewing someone from the Weather Channel or local television standing on the beach in a yellow slicker telling everyone they shouldn't be standing on the beach.

Uses:
"Whaddaphuk is that idiot doing?"
"Waddaphuk do you think is wrong with this guy?"
"Whaddaphuk will he do if a stop sign sticks in his chest at 135 mph?"

And that about rounds it out folks. Stay tuned, the circus is about to start.

Really? Wow....what a shock!!!!

BOULDER, Colo. - KUSA, a television station in Denver, reported Monday that two sources said the DNA sample taken from John Mark Karr is not a match with the DNA found on JonBenet Ramsey's body when she was slain in 1996.

KUSA also reported that the Boulder County District Attorney's office will drop the charges against Karr.

Looks like you're back on the hook...yes, you. Uh huh...I'm talking to you....yes, you did.

Yes...you did.

Ernesto

Detailed photographs of Hurricane Ernesto have just been released by Max Mayfield of the NOAA. According to the current track, Ernesto will hit Tampa on late Wednesday, spend Thursday at Disney in Orlando, and then spin itself out into the Atlantic and become the Carolina's problem by Friday.

El partido en !!!!!

If...Then

I'm often complimented on how smart, polite, and just downright nice my kids are. Often times I'm asked the mostly rhetorical question, "How do you do it?"

First of all I should say that I'm not witting this in the same mode of the proud parent who has the bumper sticker on the back of their Robins-egg blue mini-van:

MY KID IS AN HONOR STUDENT AT RETARD LAKES ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

Nope, it's not that way at all. They're just good kids...as smart-assed as any other, but they've been taught to keep the wise cracker attitude in the house and they've also been taught - apparently successfully - the art of presenting one's self in a positive and productive manner outside of the house.

As for the question, "How do you do it?", I've often answered, " I give them everything they need, some of what they want, and not much else". Inclusive in that is love, kindness, affection, help, guidance, money, inspiration, and most importantly- a sense of accountability. All 3 of my children were taught from a very early age that they are solely responsible for their own actions, and any reward or admonishment that goes with those actions is theirs as well.

It happened again tonight, which got me thinking about this some more. I think the best way to describe it is my wife and I bring our kids up in a what I call the "concrete world". Neither of us allows our children to fall into the IF-THEN philosophical trap that we all see (and perhaps from time to time have been guilty of).

"If you would only like me more, then I'd probably be nicer to you".

"If I had the same bicycle as the kid across the street, then I'd be a lot cooler".

"If my teacher wasn't such a jerk, then I would have received an A instead of this lousy C".

If-Then, If-Then, If-Then.

We have a great deal of people in our country who live in the If-Then world, don't we?

"If Florida hadn't stolen the election in 2000, then Al Gore would have been President and things would be a lot better now".

"If we hadn't invaded Iraq, then we could have better focused on Osama Bin Shitinhishat".

"If we had reacted faster and spent more money on Hurricane Katrina relief, then New Orleans wouldn't have the problems it does now".

"If Donald Rumsfeld wasn't so arrogant, then maybe the Military General's would have solved the Iraq crisis sooner".

If-Then, If-Then, If-Then.

The point of this is not to argue the validity of any of the statements above. They've all been said, and they may all be true. They also may all be false. They may have have some truth and some bull-hockey to them. In any case here is the deal:

You can live in the "concrete world" where you deal with what is, and adjust and make the best of it regardless of the circumstances; or you can live in the "If-Then world", where you will be miserable, upset, and wondering what could have been most of the time. The choice of course, is yours.

Now where is that bag of Quick-set Cement? I had it around here somewhere...

Way to go Judge...that'll teach 'em!

Two high school football players in Kenton, Ohio were convicted of a crime and will be sentenced to 60 days incarceration.

But the sentences will not be carried out until after the football season ends.

Judge Gary McKinley ruled that football would be good for the boys, and subsequently vacated their sentences until winter.

Junior starting quarterback Dailyn Campbell (16) and senior fellow player Jesse Howard (17) had stolen a decoy deer from a local hunting store. The deer was only standing on two legs, so the boys fashioned a base out of wood, put some wheels on it, and went out to a 2-lane paved country road to have some fun. They pushed the deer out into the road and laughed and laughed as car after car was forced to swerve out of the way.

When fellow high school aged Robert Roby Jr. came by, the laughing was brought to a screeching halt. Roby attempted to emergency steer his car out of the way, but went off the small road and hit both a tree and a pole. Roby sustained a broken neck, broken arm, broken leg, and broken collar bone.

And he was the lucky one.

Dustin Zacharias - a passenger in the car - struck his head so violently he has certified, clinical brain damage.

Isn't that funny? I'm damn near wetting my pants I'm laughing so hard. "The boys are good boys, just trying to have a little fun and something went wrong", said Howard's father. "They need to be left alone to get beyond this".

No he didn't. No way. He didn't say "and something went wrong" ??

Something went wrong alright, and those two need to be thrown into jail immediately...no football...no passing go...and no collection of their $200. Then proceedings need to be started to remove the Judge from the bench, because he too has made himself complicit in this tragedy by virtue of his idiotic ruling.

For now, the boys will go onto football glory, date a cheerleader, and move on with their lives after 60 loose days in the county jail picking up trash on the side of the road. And what of Dustin Zacharias?

Well...He'll still have brain damage. Just like Judge McKinley.

It be like dat

Last night I went to parents night at school. My son's teacher stood up in front of the assembled parents and covered the math portion. She spoke for about 2 minutes. In that 2 minutes, she used the word "maFF" instead of "maTH" every single time, which was over 20 at least. She also said "Bofe" instead of "both", and twice she said "we give the students pacific tasks to do".

Twice.

Look, I have no problem with anyone in the general population speaking the way they want to. Rednecks say "tahr" instead of "tire", people from New England can't pronounce the letter "r", and Ebonics is a language unto itself. I understand this and have no problem with it....except...

...when it comes to teachers. This woman went to school and secured her degree, passed her teacher certification, and is presumably capable and efficient. And now she's in charge of impressionable youth, and it pisses me off that she can't let go of her culture when she's in the school house. Does she know the word is "specific" and the proper way to pronounce words that end in a "th" sound? Yes, she damn sure does.

Thing is, I'm powerless to do anything about it. I complain and my face will be on the front page of the local newspapers tomorrow morning, under the headline:

RACIST DAD WANTS SON MOVED OUT OF CLASSROOM.

Please ...tell me I'm way off base here and I'll drop it. It's not racism, it's a matter of principle. We have a language, and the use of that language within the confines of our educational institutions should be mandatory for those charged with teaching our youth.

Pacifically mandated, to be exact.

Somebody...anybody...helllo?????

Beirut, Lebanon, Jun. 15 (UPI) Iran reportedly is readying troops to move into Iraq if U.S. troops pull out, leaving a security vacuum.
The Saudi daily Al-Sharq al-Awsat, monitored in Beirut, reports Iran has massed four battalions at the border.
Al-Sharq al-Awsat quoted reliable Iraqi sources as saying, Iran moved part of its regular military forces towards the Iraqi border in the southern sector at a time its military intelligence agents were operating inside Iraqi territory.

You know, stories like this appear around the world every day, but they NEVER or rarely appear on US television or in the national print media. Want some more?

• Iranian troops have been sporadically shelling the Kurds of northern Iraq on and off since July 27th.
• The Kurds reported less than a week ago that they killed 8 Iranian soldiers within the border of northern Iraq.
• On 14 August, an Afghan man was caught swimming the Rio Grande in an attempt to reach Texas. [What? He was lost or something?]
• Sheriff Sigfredo Gonzales of Zaputa County Texas said in a local newspaper story that over the past few months the Sheriff's department has recovered Arabic military patches and insignia, Iranian currency, Spanish language text books, and jackets frequently worn by Middle Eastern soldiers on the banks of the Rio Grande river.
• A dense jungle area that comprises a triangle of the countries Brazil, Paraguay, and Argentina known as the TBA (Tri Border Area) or La Triple Frontera in Spanish, has been the home of Arabic terrorism camps since the late 1980's. Hamas, Al Qaeda, Hizb Allah, and other major players in the now world-wide terrorism cycle our planet seems to be in have been confirmed to be there.

Why don't we hear about these things? I know that much of it has to do with security and a lack of information because of that, but I'm not buying that as an excuse. I understand why the left-leaning media would be reticent to report this, because their deal is to downplay world terrorism as a hoax or something concocted by the current administration, but why hasn't FOXnews been on this? They certainly don't believe the administration is making anything up, yet they don't report on this either.

The case could be made that Americans would panic if they knew they were slowly being surrounded, or at least the signs point to that being a possibility. I think there is a great deal of merit in assuming the average American cannot absorb and rationalize information like this. Sadly, most American's are not mentally capable of handling this kind of thing, which of course makes it all the easier for those who mean harm to us to do their thing. And I gotta tell ya, we are surrounded...right here in our supposedly safe and secure country. Or have all the news stories that have been reported - stories about terrorists being captured on both our northern and southern border trying to gain entrance - not enough to convince you this thing is real and happening right now?

The fact remains however, that these stories could very well be 100% true, or at least true enough to gain our notice. I'm confident the proper people have taken notice and are acting in our best national interests, I just don't understand why the mainstream media continues to ignore the signs and warning shots that keep going over our heads. They're all over stories about fake confessions, but ignore the truly important stuff. Everyone is culpable; Democrat's, Republican's, Libertarian's, Independent's, Flaming Liberals, Supremely hard-assed Conservatives, cats, dogs, and anyone else you care to mention.

Either we don't want to look because we're hoping it's all a bad dream and we're soon going to wake up to our old lollipop's and cotton candy world, or we're just damn stupid. My guess would be "both".

Peace.

"New" Bill of Rights

I hereby propose the "New" Bill of Rights for the American people:

• You have the right to remain silent, and most of you should. (This includes me at times, too).
• You have the right to NOT board a plane if you feel you're being inconvenienced by these "idiots" trying to protect you from harm.
• You have the right NOT to go to the airport at all if you don't want to adhere to the rule and the subsequent inconvenience. You DO NOT have the right to blabber on incessantly while you are in such a line, because no one gives a rats ass what you think anyways.
• You have the right to vote for candidates in the coming months who are the opposite of everyone currently in office. Remember as you do so though, "opposite" will apply to everything - good and bad.
• You have the right to disagree with everything we as a nation currently stand for, and of course you have the right to leave as well.
• You have the right to protest, argue on talk TV and Radio, and have your opinions heard. You DO NOT have the right to our agreement with those opinions, though.
• You have the right to be a separatist, a communist, a socialist, a globalist, an atheist, a realist, a liberalist, a moralist, a pacifist, and an anarchist. Gee, there sure are a lot of "ists" aren't there? Remember when we were just called "Americans"?
• You have the right to be offended, good Lord we all know that is true.

• Lastly, you have the right to be one of the 358,456,875,459,268,952,254,426 bloggers who hate the President and the government, want us out of Iraq immediately, but have no f***ing clue what to do after that. Be that as it may, there is no shortage of imbecilic suggestions.

A common bond

The following all have the same common bond:

1968 Senator Robert F Kennedy is assassinated in Los Angeles.

1969-1984 237 airliners are hijacked throughout the world.

1972 8 Israeli athletes die in Munich at the Olympics.

1983 241 US Marines die in their barracks as part of a peace-keeping force in Beirut.

1985 A handicapped and wheelchair bound American Jew is shot and pushed overboard on the SS Achille Laurel, a cruise liner in the Mediterranean Sea.

1988 Pan American flight 103 blows up and falls out of the sky in Lockerbie, Scotland.

1993 A truck bomb explodes in the basement garage of the World Trade Center.

1996 An apartment complex called Khobar Towers in Daharan, Saudi Arabia is erased from existence.

1998 3 US Embassies in Africa are simultaneously bombed.

2000 The USS Cole is attacked and crippled in Yemen.

2001 NYC, Washington DC, and a Pennsylvania field become infamous.

2002 A nightclub in Bali explodes

Sooooo...What caused all these events to happen? Ohhhhh, shoot. You guessed it.

The answer of course, is the US Invasion of Iraq in 2003!

And I thought I was going to fool you with this one. You're too sharp for me, boys and girls.

Mike Wallace

Mike Wallace of "60 Minutes" fame, came out of retirement recently so he could interview Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, quite possibly the most unstable and dangerous man in the world this side of Kim Il Sung.

I'll keep this short. Wallace came away from the interview with the following comments:

He's a nice dresser.
He seemed stable to me.
He was alert and intelligent.
I don't think he's an Anti-Semite. As a matter of fact, I got the impression he liked the Jews.

Let's all do what we can to put Mike back into retirement, ok?

Perfect Soldiers

There is a book that has been recently released called:

"Perfect Soldiers: The 9/11 hijackers...who they were and why they did it".

It was written by a man named Terry McDermott, a journalist for the Los Angeles times. It's an interesting account of the 19 hijackers and their backgrounds. In many ways, the book is both sympathetic and empathetic to the hijackers and their cause, and Mr. McDermott has the right to portray them any way he sees. In particular, what I wanted to talk about was the section of the book that discussed adolescent Muslim males - 14 and 15 year olds - who live in places like Paris and London for example, who have gone to Iraq to take up arms with the insurgencies against Western interests. According to the book, hundreds - if not thousands - of these kids have done so.

I have a 14 year old who is a sophomore in High School. He is an excellent student (3.98 GPA) and an outstanding athlete. He is acutely aware of the stereotypes of both academics (presumed geeks) and athletes (presumed morons), and he works hard personally and socially to dispel these myths in his own little section of the world. He is extremely fashion conscious (Aeropostale, Hollister, fitted ball caps on backwards, etc), being aware of the tightrope he's walking as a true athlete/scholar. Along the same lines, he shy's away from academic awards and pursuits, although he does intend to be nominated for the National Honor Society this year. He understands the value that has for acceptance at some of the universities he has his eye on. He's a Type 1 diabetic, so I'm 100% sure he does not drink or use drugs, because as an insulin-dependent diabetic, you can't hide drug or alcohol usage. If you do it, you'll end up in the emergency room, and he knows that. So far he has not been admitted. I'm pretty sure he has probably kissed a girl - or at least held hands - but anything further hasn't happened yet. He still has just enough naivete in him to make me comfortable.

So you may ask, why am I describing my son? Hang on...I'm getting there.

My son's goals in life are as follows: Play sports; get great grades and SAT scores; go to the university of his choice to pursue his degree while continuing to play sports; and then move into the adult working world.

In Paris, young Muslim 14 year olds are packing their bags for Iraq so they can learn to car bomb and possibly even suicide bomb Western soldiers.

I look at my son and I try to envision him as a skilled murderer. I can't. It's both too bizarre and frightening at the same time to think there are thousands out there who have so much hate and anger, they would kill another human being before they'd even experienced their first love. But it's true. And this is our opposition.

It is said there are 1 Billion practicing Muslim's in the world. Let's say for the sake of debate that 99% of them are non-violent, law-abiding, good hearted people. That means that 1% of them are of the extremist nature. Quick now - do the math. What is 1% of one billion?

Correct....10 million.

Do I think there are 10 million extremists in the world right now? Not really...no. But 1% doesn't seem too far-fetched when you look at it that way either. Let's say it's 0.5%. That's what, 5 million extremists?

Regardless of your own personal stand on Iraq, Iran, Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn, the BTK killer in Wichita, or whether cow farts are causing global warming, you need to recognize there are a lot of people out there who aspire to nothing more than death and destruction, and it doesn't matter if George Bush or George of the Jungle is President. My 14 year old more than likely goes to bed at night thinking of the girl who sits to his right in English class. Ahmed goes to bed at night thinking of how many US Marines he can kill tomorrow.

But don't worry your little hearts out. As soon as we get some different people in office here in the U.S., all this will stop - right?

Peace

The illusion of freedom

This is more or less related to the blog directly below this one about Gordon Johnson. I'm afraid I'm not done venting about this jaggoff.

I was in the military for 21 years, and I have a point of view that dramatically differs from the Gordon Johnson's of this world. For some unknown reason, I truly believed when I was in the service that I was a defender of all this country stood for - Freedom, Democracy, Liberty - and no matter where I was or what I was doing, that was my driving force behind a career in the service. My time in service paralleled the terms of service of six Presidents, 2 Democrats and 4 Republicans. There were decisions made by those men and the Congress under them that affected me both positively and negatively during those two plus decades. There were times I had to wonder just what the hell I was thinking doing what I did (I think to the February's in Kansas sleeping in the woods in sub-zero temperatures), and there were the opposite times where I was the proudest and most content person on the planet. I went places and did things I enjoyed; I went places and did things I absolutely hated. But I did everything with honor and professionalism, and I never lost sight of my ultimate calling - a defender of all that is the United States - good, bad, or indifferent.

I've been to other countries and witnessed first hand how others live in this world. In those journeys I've seen the good - England, France, & Germany. I've also seen the repressed and the destitute -Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and Iraq. Mr. Gordon Johnson and others of his ilk (and ilk is the kindest word I can come up with right now) need to take their heads out of the sand and book a trip through Expedia to some of these places, then come back and see what a good deal we have here.

And this good deal is of course the root cause of our problems.

You see Mr. Gordon Johnson...high school civics teacher and newly minted poster child for the terminally stupid...doesn't get it. What is "it"? "It" is the fact that our freedoms are a privilege, not a right. If you don't think so, ask someone at your local state penitentiary. Mr. Johnson doesn't understand that just because you have a right to protest - it is not a requirement that you do so. There is nothing in the constitution that says you cannot be inconvenienced, pissed off by someone or something, or have luck go against you. Irrespective of that well-known fact, when things do get under the skin of the Gordon Johnson's of our nation, they get mad and take their act too far. If you don't like tight security at a ball game, don't go. Hate arriving at the airport 2 hours early? Drive.

But noooooooo....not Mr. Gordon Johnson. He just has to get his petty point across and if it compromises the security of every other parent bringing their children to a game, that's perfectly acceptable to him. As long as he gets what he wants, he's happy. If he doesn't - he throws the modern day equivalent of a childish tantrum by forging allegiances with others who are just like him, and executes his tantrum through the courts system using public funds to litigate his cause. And to hell with everybody else.

That's the truth. Gordon Johnson is a big baby, and an asshole.

I started this blog with telling you what my service meant to me personally. I considered myself a defender of our rights and privileges, just like Mr. Johnson considers himself. In my life-time, I've never asked anyone to help me out; never filed a complaint because a co-worker started talking about her religious preferences in the office; never demanded that what I once defended be afforded me as a matter of course. In other words, the America I sweat blood for - the America that people like Gordon Johnson wordsmith into a confusing, never-ending blur of bullshit that makes no sense at all - has never been asked by me to pay a little of it back. You know why?

I don't think I'm owed anything.

Peace.

Gimme a break already

TAMPA, Fla. -- Security "pat-downs" of fans at Tampa Bay Buccaneers games are unconstitutional and unreasonable, a federal judge ruled Friday, throwing into question the practice at all NFL games.

U.S. District Judge James D. Whittemore sided with a season-ticket holder who had sued to stop the fan searches that began last season after the NFL implemented enhanced security measures.

High school civics teacher Gordon Johnson, backed by the American Civil Liberties Union, sued the Tampa Sports Authority, which operates the stadium, to stop officials from conducting the "suspicionless" searches. A state judge agreed with Johnston that the searches are likely unconstitutional and halted them.
The case was later moved to federal court, where the sports authority sought to have that order thrown out. Whittemore refused, writing that the pat-downs "constitute unreasonable searches under the Florida Constitution and the Fourth Amendment of the United States Constitution."

A spokesman for the ACLU said, "This is a step in the right direction in halting governmental intervention being done under the guise of a perceived terrorist threat".

Exactly what is a perceived terrorist threat?

Last time I looked - and I look every night - there is some moron issuing a Fatwah against the people of the United States, or the leaders of Korea and Iran are smoking while standing at the world's gas station. There is absolutely nothing perceived about the threat at all. To be totally honest with you, I find it hard to believe our sporting events haven't been attacked. What would be more lethal to the American psyche than a bomb going off during the Daytona 500 or a Los Angeles Dodgers baseball game?

I'm sorry, this is a step in the wrong direction.

Look, I'm sure Mr. ACLU guy, Mrs. PETA, and Ms. NOW have their hearts in the right place, but the fact of the matter is for every 3 or so legitimate arguments groups like this make, there always seems to be 1 off the wall retarded thing coming out of their mouths...and this is one of them. If someone walks into a Tampa Bay Buccaneers game in September wearing a winter coat to hide all the beer and sandwiches he's trying to sneak in, we should have the right to check him out thoroughly. It's simply a matter of good common sense. Let me end this with a question. If someone did come into that very stadium and detonate a bomb, who do you think would be first in line to file a lawsuit against the NFL for not checking everyone out?

Uh huh. High school civics teacher Gordon Johnson, backed by the ACLU, that's who.

News

In an attempt to lower the outrageous tax structure and simplify the conflicting laws, New England will now be known as Massaconnesoximont. They completely eliminated Maine because no one actually lives there, and Rhode Island is really Connecticut "east", after all.

A singer was tossed off the show "Rock Star - Supernova" for having too few tattoos and only 7 facial and mouth piercings. No, I made that one up. But the Massaconnesoximont story is true.

A new experimental vaccine to prevent obesity may become available to the public someday. Evidently taking the friggin' feedbag off is no longer an acceptable preventive measure. This story, although 100% true, was on line at MSN.com Health and Fitness. Let me get this straight: The health and fitness section is now showing obese overeaters how to cure their problems with a syringe? What is healthy and fit about that?

Also from MSNBC: ANXIETY OVER HURRICANE SEASON. And the media, in its never-ending quest to be a public service, follows that article with EAST COAST OVERDUE FOR KILLER HURRICANE. Ahhhhh. Nothing like easing that anxiety with a feel-good article.

In sports, Justin Gatlin - the holder of the title "world's fastest man" - tested positive for increased testosterone in his system. His lawyer said yesterday that Gatlin's masseuse used a testosterone based oil when performing a massage. It was later reported that the masseuse flew home on a pig that was being piloted by Elvis and JFK, and that they guy in the photo at the top of the WTC was actually John Lennon.

Tropical Storm Chris, the 3rd named storm of the year, has television news and weather people scrambling to buy airfare to the Southeastern United States and Puerto Rico. Everyone wants to be on the beach while the wind is whipping 158 mph, so they can tell us to "Get off the beach; it's unsafe". The worst thing? TV networks actually pay these mental midgets, which makes those hiring and programming this stuff even dumber. The minute I see Joe Imbecile with an on the scene report, I can't get to the remote fast enough to turn the channel off. And I'm not alone.

LONDON Jockey Paul O'Neill apologized Tuesday for head-butting his horse at a race last weekend. The Horseracing Regulatory Authority is holding an inquiry after reviewing TV footage of the incident at the Stratford races on Sunday, July 23rd 2006. "I would just like to say to the public that I'm very sorry they had to see such a thing," O'Neill said in a written statement. Apparently the horse could not be reached for comment.

In an Independence Mo. trial on-going right now, defendant Melinda Abell said she cannot remember how a cell phone ended up in her throat. The phone had to be surgically removed at the time of the incident. Marlon Brando Gill [yeah, I know...I know. I swear I didn't make that up] said he was not guilty of shoving the phone down her throat. He said she was trying to keep him from seeing who she called and swallowed it intentionally. Yes, there was great deal of alcohol involved, and neither the defendant nor the accused has better than 20% recollectionn of the specifics of the incident. I'll say one thing...they've both lost my vote for "Couple of the Year".

Great Britain has developed a form of the board game Monopoly where the money is handled with a debit card. No paper...just slide your card. "Go to jail...go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not stop to listen to your MP3 player, do not go near Paris and Nicole Blvd, and pay your bail with a non-refundable certified postal money order". There; that outta keep the little buggers confused and occupied for a few extra hours. Tea anyone?

AND FINALLY:

The U.S. government's crackdown on media indecency could prevent World War II veterans from sharing their stories in an upcoming TV documentary series by Ken Burns, the head of the Public Broadcasting Service said Wednesday. Noted filmmaker Burns' highly anticipated seven-part series "The War" features salty language used by servicemen and others. If the expletives make it to air, they could lead to crippling fines for the offending stations as a result of a new law signed last month by President Bush. Paula Kerger, the president and CEO of PBS, told reporters at a media event in Pasadena, Calif., that she was reluctant to bleep the words out, because that would diminish the impact of the documentary. Airing the film after 10 p.m., when the new rules do not apply, would reduce the available audience, she said.

Hey...War is H-E 2 sticks, you know.

Mel

The bad news is Mel Gibson was arrested for DUI, insulted an entire race of people, and is the subject of tabloid as well as serious news virtually 24 hours a day now.

The good news is he can still save a ton of money by switching to Geico.