Tuesday, November 28, 2006

They're pissing me off again

Christmas haters and Christmas whores...things I hate about the holiday that was my most pleasurable both as a child and an adult. I still love it, but I'm mad about a few things.

Please feel free to add your own.

  • People who bitch about public nativity scenes and the like should remember it wasn't that long ago we were still doing public lynching's in the same town squares.
  • Black Friday is an embarrassment. It has nothing to do with Christmas or what Christmas is supposed to be, and exposes tens of millions who have nothing better to do than get up at 3:00 am so they can go buy a TV that has been marked down to what they want you to buy it for anyways.
  • If I see one more manger scene with a pop-up Santa in the middle of it waving...I'm stopping the car, getting out, and I'm tackling Santa like I'm Lawrence F'ing Taylor.
  • Same thing goes for a Santa wearing a cross, or Rudolph bowing to the infant...stop it!
  • Christmas is a day in December. Hanukah, Hannuka, Channuka, Chanukha, Banana-bofana-bu-hannuka, or however you spell it - is 8 days. In either case, it's not mid-September like Walgreen's drug chain would have you believe.
  • Radio stations that play Christmas music 24 hours a day from November 23rd until after New Years should be sanctioned by the FCC. If they don't comply, we send Syrian Insurgents in.
  • Speaking of Christmas songs...If I ever run into the jerk-off that wrote the "Mr. My momma is dyin' and she needs new shoes" song...he's a dead man.

Feel free to opine in an "Air-it-out-Tuesday" here on WJL4 radio, home of the 24/7 attitude, "If you don't like it, go piss up a rope."

6 comments:

leelee said...

The dreaded holiday letter is MY pet peeve...I only seem to get them from people who I really don't keep in touch with and haven't spoken to in years....Obviously if we were in touch I would know everything Johhny & Sally have done or are doing or plan to do..we'd be friends who keep in touch..instead we seem to be Christmas card only friends...which is fine...but if that is the case, then I don't really to be in the "need to know" circle...

JL4 said...

oH YEAH...!!! I forgot about the Holiday Letter...

My "favorite" is when it's sent from the family pet..

"Boingo" says hi to all, and now Boingo will lay out the past year for you...

BANG!!!

leelee said...

yeah...in the 3rd person...YIKES!!

ok ok..how about the family portrait in the holiday sweaters....UGGGGGGGGGHHHHH

leelee said...

oh and one more thing...what's up with those inflatable Lawn decorations...ok they are kinda cute..inflated...as they should be...but people round here turn them off during the day and it looks as if their dryer exploded on their front lawn...that would drive me crazy..I'd have to bite the bullet and leave the blowers on 24/7..that is of course IF I had inflatable lawn decor...which I don't!!!!!!!!!!

Mayden' s Voyage said...

2 years ago, in our local library, there was a Santa, Kwanza, and a Hanukah display...but no nativity scene.

The kids and I went and bought a small nativity scene and donated it- along with a letter expressing our concern over the birth of Christ not being represented.

The next day it was in the glass display along with all the rest.

Yes- I was miffed, but we did something about it. It was a small way to push back- and it worked :)

Jen said...

I dont like (or I should say "didnt" like, as it was much more present when I worked in retail) people who snap "I'm Jewish!" when you wish them a Merry Christmas. Fine, you're Jewish. That doesnt explain why you are buying 75 golf balls all wrapped up in a special "Christmas Edition" stocking, but whatever. I'm wishing you a day of merriment and happiness. Even if it's only December 25th to you, I hope you have a good one.

Well...I did before you snapped at me.