I've been tryin' to stay a-political the last month or so. But in this case, I just want to ask a question. Which one of these men do we want to cut the funding on?
Friday, March 30, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Yeah, but you really want to try their poached egg supreme latte, with mayonaise and noodle flavored cinamon powder
Starlight, star bright. First Starbucks, I see tonight.
It started around the same time, early to mid-1990's. Political correctness and the Starbucks franchise, forever intertwined in our mix-and match-world. "Coffee" became extinct right around the time that "handicapped' people did.
"Hi, welcome to Starbucks. May I help you?"
Yes...I'd like a cup of coffee.
"You bet. Could I get you to step over to this register sir?"
Ok. What's wrong with that register?
"It's reserved for handicapable people."
Handicapable?
"That's correct, sir. Soooo, what kind of coffee would you like?"
Ummmmm....just a coffee will do.
"Ok. Would you like a rum-flavored pizza and chocolate cake with hazel nut whipped topping?"
A what? No, no. I'd like a cup of coffee. Do you sell coffee?
"Why yes we do Sparky. We sell coffee in 1008 different flavors and 13 varieties of colors. Would you like a tree bark and speckled walnut flavored bagel made from crushed sunflower seeds and soy bean to go with it?"
To go with what?
"Our blend of the day: Salmon and toasted frog legs super-mega dude frothy, with a glazed onion dip in our very own Starbucks display case."
Wow. And does that come with a cup of coffee too?
"Sir...that is the cup of coffee."
Really?
And thus, the phenomenon known as Starbucks began, and an entire generation of people born between 1970 and 1980 gravitated towards it like metal shavings to an electro-magnet. Soon, Starbucks the "coffee" store became Starbucks the "retail" store, where - much like the "Cracker Barrel" restaurants - you have to go through the area where they want you to spend the real money before you can get to the counter. And now, Starbucks has its own record label, to produce God-knows-what kind of Starbucks music. Perhaps a mix of flock of seagulls/techno/mariah/JLo/dion with a touch of Puff Diddy Daddy Doody or whatever he calls himself, mixed in.
So why did I mix Starbucks and PC?
Oh, that explanation is easy. You see, exactly like Starbucks, political correctness started innocently enough, with basic courtesy being the desired effect. Now PC has taken on a life of its own, with a huge following of strung out and overly hyperactive and hypersensitive individuals. So when I see or hear something PC, I throw my hands up into the air, shake my head violently, and say out loud, "Where in the hell did all of this come from?" "Is somebody having a bad Ecstasy trip?"
Just like Starbucks.
Sparky.
It started around the same time, early to mid-1990's. Political correctness and the Starbucks franchise, forever intertwined in our mix-and match-world. "Coffee" became extinct right around the time that "handicapped' people did.
"Hi, welcome to Starbucks. May I help you?"
Yes...I'd like a cup of coffee.
"You bet. Could I get you to step over to this register sir?"
Ok. What's wrong with that register?
"It's reserved for handicapable people."
Handicapable?
"That's correct, sir. Soooo, what kind of coffee would you like?"
Ummmmm....just a coffee will do.
"Ok. Would you like a rum-flavored pizza and chocolate cake with hazel nut whipped topping?"
A what? No, no. I'd like a cup of coffee. Do you sell coffee?
"Why yes we do Sparky. We sell coffee in 1008 different flavors and 13 varieties of colors. Would you like a tree bark and speckled walnut flavored bagel made from crushed sunflower seeds and soy bean to go with it?"
To go with what?
"Our blend of the day: Salmon and toasted frog legs super-mega dude frothy, with a glazed onion dip in our very own Starbucks display case."
Wow. And does that come with a cup of coffee too?
"Sir...that is the cup of coffee."
Really?
And thus, the phenomenon known as Starbucks began, and an entire generation of people born between 1970 and 1980 gravitated towards it like metal shavings to an electro-magnet. Soon, Starbucks the "coffee" store became Starbucks the "retail" store, where - much like the "Cracker Barrel" restaurants - you have to go through the area where they want you to spend the real money before you can get to the counter. And now, Starbucks has its own record label, to produce God-knows-what kind of Starbucks music. Perhaps a mix of flock of seagulls/techno/mariah/JLo/dion with a touch of Puff Diddy Daddy Doody or whatever he calls himself, mixed in.
So why did I mix Starbucks and PC?
Oh, that explanation is easy. You see, exactly like Starbucks, political correctness started innocently enough, with basic courtesy being the desired effect. Now PC has taken on a life of its own, with a huge following of strung out and overly hyperactive and hypersensitive individuals. So when I see or hear something PC, I throw my hands up into the air, shake my head violently, and say out loud, "Where in the hell did all of this come from?" "Is somebody having a bad Ecstasy trip?"
Just like Starbucks.
Sparky.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Elton John - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow 1987
This is from the "Prince's Trust" concert at Wembley Arena in 1987. Elton John had recently met Ryan White, who would become his friend until White's death in 1990. A great song written by Carol King, sung with passion and sadness by EJ.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
His turn
On November 24th, 1991 I was leading the La Vida Golf Club Championship by 6 strokes heading into the third and final 18 hole round. It was a blustery Sunday morning, and I had won many golf championships in my time, and I would continue to win many more after this particular day. What was unique about this particular championship was La Vida country club, 55 years old at the time, was situated in the heart of Savannah, Georgia, and was home to some of the best amateur golfers in the entire state. If you know anything about Georgia, the state is large and the number of talented athletes - in every sport amateur and professional - is an extensive list indeed. Any time you can crack the code and win something is a monumental achievement. I had played the first two rounds in 3 under par 69, and 1 under par 71. I was firmly in command of what would have been my 35th amateur championship of the club level or higher.
Thing is, my wife was nine months pregnant. As we sat together at the breakfast table that morning, discussing what I planned to do to celebrate afterwards, I noticed her enthusiasm for the moment was not there. I hastened my way to my car, totally aware of what was going on. As I went to back out of the driveway, my wife opened the front door and shook her head. I knew the tournament at that moment was gone.
I rushed her to the hospital at Ft. Stewart, where they admitted her for delivery. After several conversations with the doctor, I made what was at the time a horrible call to the golf club, where I stammered out the fact that I was withdrawing from the championship. It must be noted that what I did might well be considered a rare feat in the world of sports. Who would withdraw from a 54-hole tournament, only 18 holes from the finish with a virtually insurmountable lead?
Evidently, that person was me.
This morning, the boy that came out that November day was formally informed he has been selected to the National Honor Society at his high school. He and I have known for about a month or so, but today was the day they officially announced it in the school.
He was born 24 November, 1991...7 lbs, 3 oz. He is a 15 year old sophomore, a year ahead of his peers because he started school in California, which has a different age cut-off than Florida. So this sophomore - who should by rights be a freshman - is enrolled in a school who's "Institute of Engineering" is considered one of the top public school programs in the entire state. He has transcended local and regional standards, and has placed himself in a very unique group of people.
He has been a varsity soccer player both years, even though he looked no more than 10 years old his freshman year. He is the media editor of his 2006-2007 Yearbook Committee, he's a 5 year captain of his club soccer team, and he has done most of this under some very suspect conditions.
You see, he was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic in March of 2005.
He injects himself with a syringe at least two times a day (sometimes three) and sticks his fingers and checks his blood sugar 7 times a day (10 when he's playing soccer), suffers from the ups and downs of sugar overload/deficiency [try that sometime while running non-stop for 80 minutes in a soccer game], and he has never complained.
That's right...never.
Oh sure, he cried when he found out, stating that it wasn't fair - and it wasn't. But he has pushed on academically, socially, and athletically, routinely taking on bigger and stronger players on the soccer field and putting them in their place. For those of you who don't know it, diabetes limits your growth and physical development, because doctors limit your diet and the subsequent intake of sugar. So my 5-7 inch tall, 125 lb son has to take on man-sized boys, many of them 6-1 and 190 lbs, and he does so with courage and resolve - and he NEVER backs off.
He could have quit the day he was diagnosed with this awful affliction - but he didn't. He could have claimed that the kids he's competing against on the soccer field are too big and too strong for him - but he hasn't. He could have said that he felt like crap...the diabetes getting the best of him, and skipped his homework or school itself, but the proud young fighter of a man that he is - he just couldn't.
And on the 23rd of April, in this the 2007th year, he will make his father realize that the best day he ever had was when he cashed in his chips on a winning hand, and went to the hospital to meet the newborn boy that would become a bigger man at 15 than that father had ever been in his entire life.
Perhaps that was the message of that November Sunday, 15 and a half years ago: "Move over dad, it's my turn now."
Thing is, my wife was nine months pregnant. As we sat together at the breakfast table that morning, discussing what I planned to do to celebrate afterwards, I noticed her enthusiasm for the moment was not there. I hastened my way to my car, totally aware of what was going on. As I went to back out of the driveway, my wife opened the front door and shook her head. I knew the tournament at that moment was gone.
I rushed her to the hospital at Ft. Stewart, where they admitted her for delivery. After several conversations with the doctor, I made what was at the time a horrible call to the golf club, where I stammered out the fact that I was withdrawing from the championship. It must be noted that what I did might well be considered a rare feat in the world of sports. Who would withdraw from a 54-hole tournament, only 18 holes from the finish with a virtually insurmountable lead?
Evidently, that person was me.
This morning, the boy that came out that November day was formally informed he has been selected to the National Honor Society at his high school. He and I have known for about a month or so, but today was the day they officially announced it in the school.
He was born 24 November, 1991...7 lbs, 3 oz. He is a 15 year old sophomore, a year ahead of his peers because he started school in California, which has a different age cut-off than Florida. So this sophomore - who should by rights be a freshman - is enrolled in a school who's "Institute of Engineering" is considered one of the top public school programs in the entire state. He has transcended local and regional standards, and has placed himself in a very unique group of people.
He has been a varsity soccer player both years, even though he looked no more than 10 years old his freshman year. He is the media editor of his 2006-2007 Yearbook Committee, he's a 5 year captain of his club soccer team, and he has done most of this under some very suspect conditions.
You see, he was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic in March of 2005.
He injects himself with a syringe at least two times a day (sometimes three) and sticks his fingers and checks his blood sugar 7 times a day (10 when he's playing soccer), suffers from the ups and downs of sugar overload/deficiency [try that sometime while running non-stop for 80 minutes in a soccer game], and he has never complained.
That's right...never.
Oh sure, he cried when he found out, stating that it wasn't fair - and it wasn't. But he has pushed on academically, socially, and athletically, routinely taking on bigger and stronger players on the soccer field and putting them in their place. For those of you who don't know it, diabetes limits your growth and physical development, because doctors limit your diet and the subsequent intake of sugar. So my 5-7 inch tall, 125 lb son has to take on man-sized boys, many of them 6-1 and 190 lbs, and he does so with courage and resolve - and he NEVER backs off.
He could have quit the day he was diagnosed with this awful affliction - but he didn't. He could have claimed that the kids he's competing against on the soccer field are too big and too strong for him - but he hasn't. He could have said that he felt like crap...the diabetes getting the best of him, and skipped his homework or school itself, but the proud young fighter of a man that he is - he just couldn't.
And on the 23rd of April, in this the 2007th year, he will make his father realize that the best day he ever had was when he cashed in his chips on a winning hand, and went to the hospital to meet the newborn boy that would become a bigger man at 15 than that father had ever been in his entire life.
Perhaps that was the message of that November Sunday, 15 and a half years ago: "Move over dad, it's my turn now."
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
P.E.
In schools, school districts, and homes all across this nation, the argument rages on about physical education. Should it be removed from the curriculum? If it has been removed already, should it be reinstated? Does having PE take away from the three R's? Do the three R's matter if you're 5-7, 297 lbs? Is having a degree in mechanical engineering any good if you're dead of a heart attack at age 25?
Can you think of a good reason why we need P.E.? I can think of three...
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Needs fixing...and fast!
Part II
So, how do you fix something as broken as Florida seems to be?
You do it the same way everyone else does it - at the local and state level, you elect representatives that you believe will take steps and measures that will strengthen your community. For decades - literally decades - the family's living in Florida couldn't get quantifiable representation to pass any laws or monetary appropriations that deal with children's issues, because the snow-birds would go to the polls in strength and vote any measures down. In fairness to them, they were on a fixed budget and their children and grandchildren were all living in other parts of the country. It took years of teeth-gnashing and fist pounding to finally get the parents to go to the polls and outnumber the snow-birds, and we have accomplished that goal in the past 10 years or so, and we're moving forward with some actual educational and child-care issues that lay dormant while the rest of the country passed us on.
It is the essence of a "representative government" that we pick the correct people to "represent" us. If a man from Kansas is elected state rep to Washington, D.C., he damn sure better be talking about farming and agriculture when he goes there. Detroit? Inner city issues and the auto industry. So on and so forth. It's actually a fairly simple concept. But nothing seems to be simple to the simpleton's in Florida. If you elect the wrong person, you'll get the wrong production. I give you three of Florida's elected State Senators, "distinguished gentlemen" and ladies, all.
Republican State Senator Michael "Mike" Bennett from the southwest coast of Florida, near Ft. Myers and Port Charlotte. He's the doof-ball I spoke of yesterday that wants to make it illegal to obey the law. I've covered him already, so I won't go back over it.
Democrat Frederica Wilson, from the southeast corner of the state, representing the greater Miami area.
Senator Wilson is famous for her groundbreaking education reform, right?
Ummmmm....no.
She's famous for the fair tax resolution, isn't she?
Ummmmmm....no.
Ecology and environment?
Ummmmm....no.
Senator Wilson is famous for wearing hats that match her clothing. What? Who wouldn't want to elect such a brilliant fashion plate as her? Senator Wilson's claim to fame as far as her job is concerned, is to try and pass a law that eliminates grades in schools. FL Proposal 0334.
"Children who achieve C grades and lower are categorized separately from children who are more successful in school."
Duuuuuuuh. That's the idea, Senator. Identify those who need help and those who can press on farther. You do this through testing and assignment of competency statistics, known as "grades".
Her second claim to fame is on-going, where in Fl Proposal 0536, she wants to ban the word "Alien" when talking about citizens from outside this country that are here without proper paperwork or permission. Evidently she thinks...wait...forget it. You get the idea.
Lastly, we have Orlando-based Democrat, Gary Siplin. Gary is currently sponsoring two bills, FL Proposals 0456 and 0466. These proposals have to do with wrongful incrimination lawsuits, and the reestablishment of convicted felon's right to vote.
Why is he sponsoring these two laws?
Because he was recently convicted of Grand Theft, misappropriation of public funds, fraud, and using government employees for improper means. He is free right now because his case is in appeal.
If we keep electing these types of people, Florida's reputation will not get better...it will get WORSE. But that fact notwithstanding, voters have not deterred from going to the polls and letting these morons call the shots for them.
I leave you with a still photo from a local Orlando Television News footage. That is State Senator Gary Siplin - a "distinguished gentleman" - scaling a chain link fence in an expensive suit to keep from being interviewed.
Your Honor...? The prosecution rests.
So, how do you fix something as broken as Florida seems to be?
You do it the same way everyone else does it - at the local and state level, you elect representatives that you believe will take steps and measures that will strengthen your community. For decades - literally decades - the family's living in Florida couldn't get quantifiable representation to pass any laws or monetary appropriations that deal with children's issues, because the snow-birds would go to the polls in strength and vote any measures down. In fairness to them, they were on a fixed budget and their children and grandchildren were all living in other parts of the country. It took years of teeth-gnashing and fist pounding to finally get the parents to go to the polls and outnumber the snow-birds, and we have accomplished that goal in the past 10 years or so, and we're moving forward with some actual educational and child-care issues that lay dormant while the rest of the country passed us on.
It is the essence of a "representative government" that we pick the correct people to "represent" us. If a man from Kansas is elected state rep to Washington, D.C., he damn sure better be talking about farming and agriculture when he goes there. Detroit? Inner city issues and the auto industry. So on and so forth. It's actually a fairly simple concept. But nothing seems to be simple to the simpleton's in Florida. If you elect the wrong person, you'll get the wrong production. I give you three of Florida's elected State Senators, "distinguished gentlemen" and ladies, all.
Republican State Senator Michael "Mike" Bennett from the southwest coast of Florida, near Ft. Myers and Port Charlotte. He's the doof-ball I spoke of yesterday that wants to make it illegal to obey the law. I've covered him already, so I won't go back over it.
Democrat Frederica Wilson, from the southeast corner of the state, representing the greater Miami area.Senator Wilson is famous for her groundbreaking education reform, right?
Ummmmm....no.
She's famous for the fair tax resolution, isn't she?
Ummmmmm....no.
Ecology and environment?
Ummmmm....no.
Senator Wilson is famous for wearing hats that match her clothing. What? Who wouldn't want to elect such a brilliant fashion plate as her? Senator Wilson's claim to fame as far as her job is concerned, is to try and pass a law that eliminates grades in schools. FL Proposal 0334.
"Children who achieve C grades and lower are categorized separately from children who are more successful in school."
Duuuuuuuh. That's the idea, Senator. Identify those who need help and those who can press on farther. You do this through testing and assignment of competency statistics, known as "grades".
Her second claim to fame is on-going, where in Fl Proposal 0536, she wants to ban the word "Alien" when talking about citizens from outside this country that are here without proper paperwork or permission. Evidently she thinks...wait...forget it. You get the idea.
Lastly, we have Orlando-based Democrat, Gary Siplin. Gary is currently sponsoring two bills, FL Proposals 0456 and 0466. These proposals have to do with wrongful incrimination lawsuits, and the reestablishment of convicted felon's right to vote.
Why is he sponsoring these two laws?
Because he was recently convicted of Grand Theft, misappropriation of public funds, fraud, and using government employees for improper means. He is free right now because his case is in appeal.
If we keep electing these types of people, Florida's reputation will not get better...it will get WORSE. But that fact notwithstanding, voters have not deterred from going to the polls and letting these morons call the shots for them.
I leave you with a still photo from a local Orlando Television News footage. That is State Senator Gary Siplin - a "distinguished gentleman" - scaling a chain link fence in an expensive suit to keep from being interviewed.
Your Honor...? The prosecution rests.
Needs fixing...and fast!
PART I
This must be just like livin' in Paradise.
And I don't wanna go home.
Just like Paradise. Just like Paradise.
- David Lee Roth, 1986
Ahhhh, Florida. The sunshine state. Land of the free, home of the expression, "Three T-shirt - 10 dollah". Orange groves replaced by endless rows of living communities that if you're prone to drunk driving, would make it nearly impossible for you to find your own house, since it looks just like everyone else's house. The Miami area - or as I like to call it - "New Jersey South", with it's pink highrise's that look suspiciously like the gray highrise's in Newark.
Oh, I'm sorry. That's mauve - not pink. My bad.
Florida, who's number one import seems to be cement. Florida, the place where they print an election ballot that 90% have no problem understanding, but 10% are obviously too stupid to...and the 10% say they tried to vote for Al Gore, but instead Mr. Ed led the electorate in Palm Beach county (Yes; I had the same "Butterfly" ballot in my county, and had no problem with it - and Mr Ed lost).
Florida...it just can't seem to stay out of the news, can it?
Why is Florida the bastion of retardedness it seems to be? Well, there are several reasons for this, primarily no state tax, the promise of warm weather, and a plethora of service industry jobs for the unskilled and uneducated. This has led to a progression in the state that started over 50 years ago. Initially, Florida was the winter destination of the elderly, where the term "snowbird" was coined. Then Walt showed up with the mouse in Orlando, and the minimum wage explosion began. Finally, as factories folded up north in favor of outsourcing to other countries, people came here in droves; people without much going on for them. Florida has long since been just a vacation spot, as families dominate the landscape, and millions of children now live here. Most of them, children of the above-mentioned imports.
Floridians will hate this blog; but it's true.
We as citizens of this state contribute to the issues, sometimes directly...sometime indirectly. The aforementioned election fiasco, mismanaged from a PR (and possibly legal) perspective by then Secretary of State Katherine Harris; the Jessica Lundsford murder; Carlie Bruscia, abducted and murdered on Super Sunday in 2004; Hurricane's ripping the place to shreds two years in a row; Orlando becoming more dangerous than NYC in the last year and a half with respect to the murder rate; and most recently, the raid and arrest of several pharmaceutical laboratories in Orlando that were manufacturing steroids, human growth hormone, and pain killers, then selling them on-line to prominent athletes, movies stars, and the most horrifying of all - high school football coaches nationwide.
And what do we Floridians do about it? Nothing.
TO BE CONTINUED...
This must be just like livin' in Paradise.
And I don't wanna go home.
Just like Paradise. Just like Paradise.
- David Lee Roth, 1986
Ahhhh, Florida. The sunshine state. Land of the free, home of the expression, "Three T-shirt - 10 dollah". Orange groves replaced by endless rows of living communities that if you're prone to drunk driving, would make it nearly impossible for you to find your own house, since it looks just like everyone else's house. The Miami area - or as I like to call it - "New Jersey South", with it's pink highrise's that look suspiciously like the gray highrise's in Newark.
Oh, I'm sorry. That's mauve - not pink. My bad.
Florida, who's number one import seems to be cement. Florida, the place where they print an election ballot that 90% have no problem understanding, but 10% are obviously too stupid to...and the 10% say they tried to vote for Al Gore, but instead Mr. Ed led the electorate in Palm Beach county (Yes; I had the same "Butterfly" ballot in my county, and had no problem with it - and Mr Ed lost).
Florida...it just can't seem to stay out of the news, can it?
Why is Florida the bastion of retardedness it seems to be? Well, there are several reasons for this, primarily no state tax, the promise of warm weather, and a plethora of service industry jobs for the unskilled and uneducated. This has led to a progression in the state that started over 50 years ago. Initially, Florida was the winter destination of the elderly, where the term "snowbird" was coined. Then Walt showed up with the mouse in Orlando, and the minimum wage explosion began. Finally, as factories folded up north in favor of outsourcing to other countries, people came here in droves; people without much going on for them. Florida has long since been just a vacation spot, as families dominate the landscape, and millions of children now live here. Most of them, children of the above-mentioned imports.
Floridians will hate this blog; but it's true.
We as citizens of this state contribute to the issues, sometimes directly...sometime indirectly. The aforementioned election fiasco, mismanaged from a PR (and possibly legal) perspective by then Secretary of State Katherine Harris; the Jessica Lundsford murder; Carlie Bruscia, abducted and murdered on Super Sunday in 2004; Hurricane's ripping the place to shreds two years in a row; Orlando becoming more dangerous than NYC in the last year and a half with respect to the murder rate; and most recently, the raid and arrest of several pharmaceutical laboratories in Orlando that were manufacturing steroids, human growth hormone, and pain killers, then selling them on-line to prominent athletes, movies stars, and the most horrifying of all - high school football coaches nationwide.
And what do we Floridians do about it? Nothing.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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