Whaaaaaa???

Bawbwa Wawltews has reported that Britney Spears closest friend says she has been seeking psychiatric help, and her mom is supportive. Britney? Mental problems? Noooo waaaay!!!

Senator Ted Kennedy officially endorsed Barak Obama from the Champagne room of the Kitty Kat Club in downtown Boston. Apparently CNN has lowered the flag to half staff in response.

Roger Clemens agent has drafted an 18,000 word document outlining Clemens' career and is attempting to use it to defend his case against steroid and HGH accusations. Apparently, he's unaware of the business model "If it's more than one page, they'll stop reading." Spokesperson for Leonoid Tolstoy had no comment.

The State of the Union is tonight, and the President will speak about the uhhhhhh.....the uhhhhh...the need for more kids to be bi-lingual, and speak languages like Mexican.

CNN reported tonight that 36 soldiers have been killed in Iraq this month, when actually 12 have been Marines. Evidently, CNN does not prescribe to the standard that professionalism means knowing and using proper terminology. Later tonight, they have a story about a meteor or an asteroid - they're not really sure which is which.