Daddy, why is that center fielder wearing a football helmet?

Last night, entering the top of the fourth inning, the Baltimore Orioles were leading the Texas Rangers 3-0. That meant the Rangers had 6 innings to try and rally to tie the game. They actually scored in four of those innings, failing to score in the remaining two. 5 runs in the 4th inning, were shortly followed by 9 in the 6th, 10 in the eighth, and 6 paltry runs in the ninth.

30. Runs....not points. Runs. 30. In the four innings they actually scored in.

My son said to me, when was the last time that happened? I thought I knew everything about sports, but I couldn't remember. Wanna know why?

Because the last time it happened was 1897.

A.D.

Hitler was a year old. Henry Ford had an idea for a piece of machinery, but he wasn't sure it would catch on with the general public. He also had some fanciful idea of something called an "Assembly Line".

Friggin dreamers!!!

Some Irish guy was 15 years away from finding the funds to build an unsinkable ship. World War Zero had not been fought. Some dude named Lennin - who didn't play for the Beatles by the way - was ruling Russia. Telephones and televisions weren't yet invented, mostly because they were still working to refine something called electricity.

42 year old Dick Clarke was hosting a Broadway show called New York Bandstand. George Burns was an occasional guest host. Walt Disney wouldn't be born for another four years, which meant Orlando still had something called "grass and trees" instead of cement, porto-potties, and traffic jams.

Five years earlier, the country opened up a way-station in New York City called Ellis Island. Spanish had yet to become our national language.

The following things did not exist in 1897:

The Zeppelin (no, not Led Zeppelin, stoopid), the safety razor, radios, vacuum cleaners, neon, teddy bears, crayons, airplanes, tea bags, tractors, corn flakes, cellophane, talking pictures, gasoline, crossword puzzles, zippers, band-aid's, and of course as hard as this is to take - myspace.

Right next to Camden Yards baseball park in Baltimore is the stadium the NFL's Ravens play in. The last time they gave up 30 points was in November of 2005.

So here's to you, Baltimore Orioles. You refuse to succumb to modernization and the evil pull of success. You've reminded us all, if you give up just enough, you too can go down in history...right there with the Edsel, Enron, and Paris Hilton's acting career.

Cheers!!