When it was simple

Was there anything more empowering than riding a bicycle when you were a kid? Originally, I had a no-speed bike, then as time wore on I had the miracle of 3-speeds. A 10-speed cycle had yet to be invented, so if I wanted a 5th or 6th gear, I pedaled faster.

My first love was a bike my dad sprung for and put together himself. It looked almost exactly like the one pictured. He bought the frame, a banana seat (you had to have a banana seat or you weren't cool), and the high handle bars (step #2 on the "cool scale"). Compared to today's sleek, ultra-lightweight, high tech bicycles, it was a piece of shiite. But I'll still take that bike over anything they offer today.

Back then, comedies were based upon real people in real-life situations. They simply made them funnier and occasionally added something serious to bring further reality to the shows. Barney Miller was about the 12th Precinct in NYC. WKRP in Cincinnati was about a radio station trying to survive during the initial days of FM. Incredibly funny, WKRP represented the times and the social upheaval in America, taking on such topics as censorship, the religious right, the dangers of spectacle seating at rock concerts, and of course - the little known fact that Turkey's cannot fly. We also had a show called "All in the family" and another called M*A*S*H. Not ringing a bell, eh? I turn on the TV now, and I see yuppies drinking coffee and I can't relate. Gimme back my MTM (If you don't know who MTM is, you won't get this post anyways).

I remember watching TV in my parents room in April 1974, and watching LA Dodgers Pitcher Al Downing (the greatest living sports trivia question of all time, by the way) - throw a curve ball to Henry Aaron for his 715th home run. Now I get to watch a test tube swing a syringe in hopes of hitting his 756th through a night haze caused by thick innuendo anda blanket of insincere statements. Hardly anyone will cheer, and that is even worse.

What happened to my baseball? Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

There was a bad guy back then, called the USSR. We were the good guys, by the way. The world was safer you know, even if at the time we thought the opposite. They took care of their half their way, we in turn took care of our half our way. All the idiots were scared of both of us, and therefore stayed beneath their rocks.

We now live in an age where our kids had better not go too far when they're out playing, and free-wheeling around on their bikes is a 2007 form of Russian Roulette. We now live in a world where you can see your nice, quiet, friendly neighbor on-line at the county child predator page. Instead of allowing someone to cut in front of you on the highway, you chose to cut him or her off with a dramatic single-finger salute and a burst of cuss words. He in turn pulls out a pistol and shoots you at the next interchange. Music was at one time all about love, lost love, found love, reclaimed love, forlorn love, and lack of love. It is now about "slappin' yo beaaatch ma-fuckin' ho", which I can only imagine has nothing to do with the love I'm familiar with.

Back then a man married a woman and they stayed together like my parents have for 50 + years. Now they don't even care about marriage unless they're gay and want to make a political or financial statement.

In short...today's music sucks, the comedies on TV suck, driving sucks, people look upon marriage as old-fashioned bufoonery, my kids can't go more than 15 feet from my yard because the single dude who walks his 4 dogs wearing shorts, black socks, and sandals, really is the creepazoid he portrays himself to be....

And - worst of all - Nick at nite stopped showing Gilligan's Island...

So...how's your day going?