Before I go any further

Ok, before I go any further...I should mention a thing or two about myself. I'm 480 years old, although I usually don't look a day over 223. I'm married and have 3 children who have become my strength, my inspiration, and ultimately my heroes over the years. My wife is a beautiful brown haired lass a tad bit younger than me, and as far as I can tell she loves me. The biggest problem we have is I'm too busy (or too damned stupid sometimes) to reciprocate that love by simply telling her. But I do the best I can.

I'm sarcastic, caustic, and I've been told I'm sardonic. I have no earthly idea what sardonic means, so I just leave that one alone.

I'm a lousy son-in-law because I could care less what my in-laws are doing, and I would prefer they did the same with me. I'm a lousy host because if there is a good game on in the master bed TV, that's where you'll find me. If you want to talk to me, come on in - but be sure to make your comments brief and restrict them to commercial time. I'm an awful snob, as evidenced by the fact that I'll pay a dollar more for a $3.00 item in Target as opposed to going into WalMart. Sorry, but I don't own a white halter-top and cut off jean shorts that allow my butt cheeks to hang out, so I don't have the right attire for WalMart anyways.

I'm a man who's grown weary of answering for the fact that men have had the upper hand for 5,000 years. I don't know what happened back then, and I had no control over the fact that I too was born with an extra appendage. You want to complain about sexism or racism, go complain to the guys who did it for all those years...It wasn't me that's for sure. In my house we have a lot of rules, but the most important of those involve respect for others - regardless of race or ethnicity - respect for women and their values and beliefs, and respect for authority. After my kids are grown up and moved away, they can act and think any way they like. Hopefully the lessons taught in this household will be continued and passed on later in their life.

I'm a republican who is deeply troubled with the actions of the current administration, and no...that doesn't mean I'm becoming a democrat and I now want to hear your babbling baloney either. It just means I'm conservative by nature and always will be. I don't want to hurt the whales...nor do I want to board a greenpeace boat and sail to the north Atlantic to try and stop some guy from Gloucester, Mass trying to make a living hunting them. No thanks, I'll pass on putting your pro-abortion bumper sticker on my car. As a matter of fact, I'll pass at putting any bumper sticker on my car. I have better things to do with my time...like watch my kids grow up and play sports, while I write things in this blog that no one will ever read. Oh and one more thing. To the person who hangs out in the supermarket parking lots during the week passing out Jehova's Witness pamphlets. Look, I have nothing to say for or against you either...but jeesh dude, you might consider getting a job or something.

Oh...and I absolutely have a life-long love affair with the Boston Red Sox. Remember the snobbery part mentioned above? That applies to anyone coming on here going "go Yankees" or anything imbecile like that as well. I don't like the Yankees or Yankee fans. If that upsets you, get over it.

This is making me tired. Did I mention my kids are my heroes?