Excuse me. Could I use your phone?

The other day I was walking into a grocery store. A man was walking towards me animatedly speaking. I was startled because I had no idea why he was talking to me when I had never met him before. That's when I saw that Star Trek the Next Generation earpiece he was wearing. I have no idea where the microphone was, nor did I stick around long enough to ascertain who he was talking to or what they were talking about. I was too spooked to care.

Please. Someone out there tell me why we as a nation feel compelled to be "plugged in" 24/7. For the life of me, I spend most of my time trying to get away from other humans, not stay in constant contact with them. And what is with people who are talking on their cell phone while being waited on in line at a convenience store or some other public service establishment? Look, unless you're speaking with the Secretary General of the United Nations and you're both trying to hammer out a solution to the nuclear weapons issue in North Korea, put the damn thing down for a second, pay for your creamsicle, and go on about your business out in the parking lot. Just don't walk towards me while you're doing it.

And speaking of being in line at the neighborhood 7-Eleven. Lottery tickets of all types are ok in my book. However, standing there for fully 5 minutes and dictating to the clerk the 37 different ways you'd like to play the daily numbers..."Could I have them boxed, straight, flipped, backward, forward, run it, tip it, 2 dollars, 3 dollars, and of course the always popular reverse-inverted 5 dollar play-3"....while the line of customers merely trying to buy a coffee is getting longer and more agitated by the second...you need to to be told you're just dead wrong. If you want to buy a lottery ticket, fine. If you want to gamble, go to the dog track or hop on a plane to Vegas. In the meantime, get the heck out of my way because you're burning up my lunch hour and my soda is now warm.

Ahhhh. I feel better already.