Friday, January 27, 2006

I think I smell burning rubber

Oky doky out there. Let's go over it one...more...time.

  • A Green light means "go". With that said, I have bad news for the guy behind me who thinks I have less than 1 nano-second to mash the accelerator to the floor and roar out of there like I'm a member of the National Hot Rod Association and I'm trying to qualify for the finals. You're just gonna have to wait big guy. Green means "you may proceed", and my car doesn't need a toot of your horn to get moving.
  • Yellow, besides being the officially licensed color of the United Canary Foundation of America (any unauthorized reproduction or sale without the expressed written consent of of the UCFA and it's subsidiaries is strictly prohibited) means "slooooowwww down". Nope. Sorry. It never - nor will it ever - mean hit the gas as hard as humanly possible and test the consumer products rating of the Toyota Celica in executing a 90 degree turn while hitting close to the land speed record in order to make that light. It means "slow the heck down".
  • A Red light means "stop". Not creep...not blast...and it doesn't mean the next 5 cars in line can continue to go through the light because they're tired of waiting. It means "stop".

These aren't my laws, I just happen to know them. If you have a beef with it, take a few moments and fire off an angry e-mail to your Chief of Police and tell him what an idiot he is for making you obey his stupid rules.

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