Waiter? Can I have another bowl of that du jour soup?

All together now:
Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!
Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!
Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!
Elephants and Donkeys and Birds, oh my!

Elephants, Donkeys and Birds?

Well, just Elephants and Donkeys. The political kind, not the mammals. Is a donkey a mammal? I have no idea, but then again, I could never remember if a tomato was a fruit or a vegetable. Wanna know who lost that game "Animal, Vegetable, Mineral" every time he played?

You got it...I did.

Ever tried to define a democrat and a republican? I mean, apart from the basic misconception that a republican is a rich Anglo-Saxon dude without a heart (the Tin Man to keep the lame Wiz metaphor going) and a democrat is a person of, for, and by the people (that would be the Scarecrow - I think).

Republicans and democrats are hard to define. Why? Because they're not that far separated on the social or philosophical scale. For the sake of argument, we're going to throw out the Diane Feinstein's and the Sean Hannity's of the world. They're too far on either side of the spectrum to even bother with, and therefore too easy to define. Sean Hannity thinks the sun rises and shines on conservatism, and he can't voice a complete sentence without starting and/or finishing with the word "liberal". Diane Feinstein would prefer the world just go into a group hug and sing "Kumbaya", and all will be ok after all sing a few bars and share some milk and cookies.

Now that I have established for the purpose of this weblog that republicans and dem's are essentially the same, I can break it down to what I would like to talk about...Liberal and Conservative feelings and beliefs. You might find after reading this that you're not so far on the other side as you may have previously thought you were. Let's start with a quote by the late Winston Churchill, not known for his political correctness:

"If you're still younger than 30 and your not a liberal, you have no heart. If you're older than 40 and you're still a liberal, you have no brain."

Harsh as that may seem, and undoubtedly there are quite a few liberties taken with regard to broad strokes of stereotyping, he may be onto something there. It's hard to find someone over the age of 40, a parent of children already come and gone - or soon to - who doesn't lean towards conservatism. Conversely if you're young, vibrant, and still somewhat in that carefree "What, me worry?" mode, you're more than likely inclined to lean to the left. It's natural. A normal part of growing up in a country that allows you to grow up and do whatever you want within the limits of laws and good common sense. So age tends to be one factor that influences which way you lean...as does parenting.

Another difference. Sunday they will play Super Bowl XL in Detroit. XL of course meaning Extra Large, but I digress. A conservative would probably not lay down a $20 bet on the game, preferring to watch without the added burden of possibly being doubly disappointed...once for the loss of the team they wanted to win, twice for the 20 bucks frittered away. Even at a 50/50 chance, a conservative is not inclined to like those odds. A liberal however would have no problem throwing down the $20, because there is an even money chance to win, and that's good enough for him. This concept is not about the $20, but rather the mindset of each person. A conservative likes to hedge his bets, and doesn't like even money or worse. A liberal is willing to take more chances. They both want to win and it's a matter of the degree to which each side would go to achieve the goal. A better example of that very same metaphor would be to speak of a subject with much more serious consequences than 1 autographed Andrew Jackson piece of green paper.

Iraq.

I think we can agree that both sides want to get the men and women home as fast as possible. No one wants any more American service men and women coming back prematurely. A liberal leaning person wants them home now. They are willing to take a chance that if we pull out of Iraq - take 10 steps backward and inhale deeply - the Al Quaeda and it's constituents will back down and never come our way again. Believe me, everyone would like that to be true, and indeed there is always that outside possibility it could happen, but that's where the conservative thinks differently.

Could happen. Could is a very large word. Like every, always, and forever.

Remember the part about a conservative not liking even money or worse? Same thing applies to dealing with terrorists. If we're not 100% sure, we conservatives don't do anything we might regret in the worst way later. So we take our time and attempt to make the correct move at the correct time and place.

With that said, please spare everyone the arguments about the why's and wherefores of the U.S. being in Iraq. We're there already, and yes- we need to come home, but we have to be smart about it. If you want to take up the argument about the President's past decisions, I'm sure there is a weblog somewhere that loves to beat dead horses. In this conversation, we'll stick with the reality of what already has come to pass. Thank you for your understanding.

Ok, Iraq might be a tough one for you to see my point on, so let's try another. You're a mom in her mid to late 20's and you have a beautiful little 5 year old girl who is your pride and joy. You've always prided yourself on your democratic heritage, and you vote your conscience every election. So far, your conscience has led you straight to Al Gore and John Kerry. You just can't in your right mind see yourself voting any other way. You consider yourself an environmentalist of sorts and a supporter of the fair and just. Your little girl is in kindergarten and takes the bus too and from school. You bring her to the stop and pick her up every day. But one day, something goes terribly wrong. Your neighbor from 4 houses down, a seemingly nice young man in his early 20's has a fight with his wife. The next morning they're still at it. The young man goes to work that day, carrying the baggage of the argument along with him. He's distracted and anxious all day, and finally that erupts into the ultimate confrontation with his boss, who shows him the door. It's 1:30 pm and now the guy has a wife that's steamed at him - and no job. He can't go home because he couldn't possibly face her now. He can't rely on his other friends because they're all at work. So he goes to the nearest pub and drowns his sorrows in a few beers. He leaves the bar, gets in his car, and as fate would have it...he pulls up to the school bus drop off point the exact moment our little innocent 5 year old is getting off. Ignoring the flashing red lights and the stop sign extended out from the side of the bus, he barrels right through. You're in your car, and in front of your disbelieving eyes, you see what amounts to your entire world crashing around you.

(Pause for reflection)

In court 5 months later, you sit and listen to the defense attorney go through his litany of reasons why your neighbor was distressed and not thinking with his correct frame of mind. He tells the sad story of the argument with the missus and the firing by the boss. You have two possible thoughts:

• You understand his plight, and you sympathize with the anguish this man must be going through. You hope the justice system does right by this man, because he's as much a victim of the system as you or your child are. If this is the case, you're a true liberal thinker.
• You're sitting there thinking you can't believe the Judge is even allowing the Defense attorney to spew out this nonsense. You're angry and you hope the system doesn't give a damn about this guy. He screwed up and he has to answer for that screw up. If this is the case, you've just jumped over to the conservative side of the house.

Too extreme? Ok. One more - a little softer this time. Your 7 year old first grader comes home and starts telling you in rather graphic but somewhat confused terminology about the night his conception happened at your house. He gets it all mixed up, but from the gist of what he's saying you've just been informed that his first grade teacher decided to have an impromptu class on anatomy and the reproductive process. Your son is asking about both parents' body parts, how they work, and if it's true that's where babies come from.

• If you think it's ok, you're truly a liberated thinker. You have the power of self-control, and you can handle most any situation with grace and aplomb. You decide it's quite alright what happened in the classroom.
• If you think your child is to young and emotionally ill equipped to handle such information, that 1st grade is nether the time nor the place for this type of learning or discussion, and you find yourself either at the school with a dozen or so other parents or on the phone with the Principal, you're probably a conservative.

Okay Mr JL4, so what's your point? By the way, thank you for asking.

I keep hearing how this country is so polarized right now. According to the various media outlets we have at our disposal - both conservative and liberal - we the people of the United States have never been farther apart. I suggest to you that for the most part that's a bunch of hogwash. We're no farther apart in the middle of the spectrum (which is where the vast majority of us are) than we ever have been. I'm a card-carrying conservative who is not only willing to listen to a liberal point of view, I believe and support some of them. And there is many a liberal out there who feels the same way about conservative viewpoints. So maybe...just maybe...intelligent dialog is possible, but it has to come from the everyman...errr...everyperson. The Rush Limbaugh's on the far right are never going to extend an olive branch to the Al Franken's on the extreme left. If they do that, their gig is up. They'll have nothing to whine about any more, which means no one will listen to them. If no one listens, they lose their job. I'm fairly certain they don't want that to happen.

So it's going to have to be us...you, me, and others like us to find a way to communicate and discover that my left leaning neighbor is not as strongly in support of stopping the eavesdropping of terrorists phone calls as he would want me to think, and that if you get to know me you might find that my concern over gay marriage is about the same as whether or not I use the Local or Weather page to clean up after my dog. I just don't have the time or the inclination to care about this right now.

I'm thinking all this means it's darn hard to tell a democrat from a republican when you get right down to it. After all, we still go to sleep at night under a blanket of security provided by the same place, don't we?

Peace.