Nicole Anna Paris Britneyhan died yesterday at the age of 39. Unfortunately, her breasts were only 14, her hips and buttocks still in the pre-pubescent years of 7 thru 10, and her eyes and nose barely out of diapers.
It is a social loss to our nation to be sure, the effects of which we'll no doubt still be feeling for the rest of the decade. We're running out of role models faster than a DNA test result in a Judge's hands can necessitate the phrase, "Sir...the report clearly shows the baby belongs to the pool boy."
Whom do we turn to at this point? How will our children ever grow up with a set of values that bespeak hard work, educational focus, and goals-based achievement without the positive influences of the Anna's in our world?
People magazine will soon be 7 pages lighter, there will be one less Enquire/Star at the checkout stand, and US Weekly will no doubt become US Monthly. Oh, the humanity. Who will carry the mantle for our children at this point - parents?
Parents as role-models?
Now you're just crazy-talkin'.
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