Artful dodgers

The latest count says there are 8,000 deserters listed with the United States Armed Forces since 2003, a strange statistic given the fact that the draft was last used in 1973, which is 33 years ago in case you don't have your calculator handy. Here are some of the reasons given by those daring enough to come forward and make a statement. If you'll notice, I said "daring" enough, I didn't say "courageous". Courage is a term reserved for a category of people that military deserters do not belong to, whatever their reasoning for doing what they have done. In any case, let's review some of their reasons (you can google them quite easily if you don't trust me reprinting them here):

"The Army didn't tell me I'd have to adopt their belief structure". No, of course they didn't. And if you end up working for Netscape, they won't mind if you tell everyone you know about the merits of Microsoft, either.
"I'm a conscientious objector". Funny, three months ago on page 5 of your enlistment contract you failed to check that block. What happened? And by the way, the war started in 2003 and you enlisted in 2004. Helllloooooo?!?
"My recruiter didn't mention anything about being deployed to Iraq." This excuse is of course believable, since the entire Gulf War II has been a secret that no one knew about until last month.
"I came in for the $50,000.00 college fund." Riiiight. Well here is the deal thunder head, they don't give you that money. It's called a trade-off, or something earned for something given.
"This war is illegal as far as I'm concerned." This is the one most commonly used after conscientious objector. I think people who can't use an ATM machine should be declared legally stupid as far as I'm concerned, but you know what? They won't be declared legally stupid any more than this war will be declared illegal to fight. In any event, please let us know when a 'legal war' comes about that you're willing to fight in, and we'll call you. In the meantime, I'll just go to another bank.

C'mon folks, it doesn't matter how you feel about the war or whether you're in the military or not...deserting the Armed Forces is one of the most despicable things a person in this country can do. And here is the real irony - the very reason you can even try and pull off some crap like this - is because of the millions of men and women who have died in wars in the past to make and keep this a free democratic society. I think it's monumentally sad that a young man or woman can freely enter the armed forces, get a barrel-full of college money or up to $75,000.00 in college loan forgiveness, get paid a decent salary every month, and the moment they're called upon to do what they're trained to do - they bail. Hey Jimmy Deserter-boy, every time you went to the field, they made you carry your M-16 rifle 24/7, right? Did you think that was because you might get a chance one day to nail a scurrying squirell? They conducted war games in the field and at places like the National Training Center in the Mojave desert in California. You were there, remember? War games. Drop the 'games' part, and insert only the 1st word. That's correct Jimmy...the word is 'war'.

How does your "my recruiter didn't tell me" logic apply when there are those of us out here in the civilian sector that know better? How come you weren't conscientiously objecting at the bank every month when you deposited your paycheck? Have you mentioned the training with the weapons, the paychecks, and the terminology like 'war-gaming' to your lawyer in Canada?

No? I didn't think so. That would take courage.