Too stupid to ignore

I had no desire to say anything about this, but I just can't ignore it any more. The Miss Universe Pageant was held this past weekend, and...well...just read on.

Miss Sweden withdrew because of nationalistic feelings. It seems Sweden - home to 50 years of pornographic movies once referred to as "Swedish Films" **wink **wink, and long-known as the original home of porn, has objected to this "exploitation". Sweden - the bastion of neutrality that has allowed virtually every tyrannical regime in modern history to pounce all over their neighbors Finland and Denmark in times of world war. Remember the Nazi's? Sweden - the nation that indeed held a Miss Sweden contest a couple of months ago to determine who would represent their country - has declared that the Miss Universe pageant is degrading to women. I have no idea if it is or isn't, mostly because I haven't sat and watched one of those things in about 40 years. I don't care, and never really did. If it's degrading, don't do it.

In any event, you can't speak out of both sides of your mouth, because it's bound to come crashing back into your ass. Feminists were pressuring the Swedish government, as if to imply that women fully volunteering to compete in these things were the same as roosters being forced to fight to the death. They are not, irrespective of what "Inga the man-hater" has to say about it.

Keeping on topic (in case you've forgotten, Stupid is the topic), Miss Tanzania, Flaviana Matata, an electrical technician whose country is participating for the first time, is also challenging stereotypes of beauty with her shaved head. "I never let anyone define me neither by hair nor clothing as I believe God made me perfect as a pure, natural African woman," she said.

Honey, it's a beauty contest. If you were told this was some sort of International Jeopardy competition, you were told wrong. If this were an English grammar class, you'd be getting an "F" for sentence structure and syntax. Given that this is indeed what it is, the fact remains you are judged on your appearance, whether you want to be or not. You can be pure, African, natural, hairless, and give your little "All I want is world peace and kindness to puppy dogs" speech...but it doesn't change the fact that you're judged by what you look like in an evening gown and a swimsuit.

Sorry I had to be the one to tell you...someone should have clued you in earlier.

And lastly, we have Miss Jamaica, 25-year-old Zahra Redwood, the contest's first Rastafarian and the first to appear in dreadlocks. She wants judges to see her as a "Rastafarian promoting the message of peace, love and unity throughout mankind."

Hmmmm...peace through hairstyles. She better get with Miss Tanzania and coordinate their stories. What is best for humanity, Telly Savalas or Bob Marley? While you contemplate the pro's and con's of Vidal Sasoon and the Schick Double Trac, somebody give me a hefty bag full of "Tums", cuz I think I'm gonna be sick to my stomach.

By the way, what's a Rastafarian? Someone from Rastafa?
I know...I know. It's a nice word for "stoner".

Pahhss dee ganga, mahn.