Quintesential truths

Fact: Today is the 31st day of December, 2007.

Fact: Coaches want to be officials, officials want to be coaches, and players want to be rock stars or hip-hop rappers. Conversely, hip-hoppers want to be in the NBA.

Fact: People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw skinny dipping parties.

Fact: Four category 5 tornadoes can hit downtown Dallas simultaneously, and 3 people will die. A single category 1 waterspout can hit Thailand, and 3,652 souls will perish and the American Red Cross will spend $25 Million of our money helping them.

Fact: Canada, the United Kingdom, and France have Universal Health Care. Addendum fact: It takes an average of 5 weeks to see a doctor - any doctor - about a common cold...forget about a serious injury or illness; fourteen to seventeen weeks to see a specialist. They have consistently proven sluggish in bringing in high tech innovations and services, and as a result, the mortality rate for heart attacks (for example) is higher in these three countries than anywhere else in the developed world.

Fact: In 1631, two London bible printers accidentally left the word "not" out of the seventh commandment, which then read, "Thou shalt commit adultery." This legendary book is now known as the "Wicked Bible."

Fact: A U.S. company came out with a toilet night-light that sends out a green warning beacon when the seat is up. There it is ladies, the answer to all your prayers.

Fact: When you're driving south of the Mason-Dixon line, there is an unwritten rule that all drivers must believe they're Richard Petty, and close to within inches of your back bumper - even if you're in the right lane. This holds especially true if they are in a pick-up truck that for some insane reason is equipped with Boeing 767 tires.

Fact: When such a driver finally passes you and you realize you're actually not going to die, you become happier than Rosie O'Donnell when the fresh donuts light goes on at the Krispy Kreme.

Fact: Before 1859, baseball umpires were seated in padded chairs behind home plate. Now those chairs have been replaced with small round beds for seeing eye dogs.

Fact: America spent $6.3 Billion on entertainment periodicals, autographs, etc in 2007. Addendum fact: America is waaaaaaaaaaaay too obsessed with celebrity.

Fact: Ancient Egyptians believed that onions would keep evil spirits away. It was later discovered by the Greeks that onions actually kept a potential date away.

Fact: American President John Tyler had 15 children. Bill Clinton, eat your heart out.

Fact: Angel Falls in Venezuela is the world's highest waterfall, at 979 meters. This waterfall is sixteen times the height of Niagara Falls, and the same width as Michael Moore's midsection.

Fact: Approximately 75% of human poop is made of water. Believe you me, eat out a Taco Bell or McDonald's after the age of 45 and you'll attest to the truth of this one.

And last but not least:

Fact: Being unmarried can shorten a man's life by ten years. Ummmm....no way...I have 14 different comments I could use, but I'm not going there at all.

Happy New Year

- JL4

P.S. Iowa; Ron Paul; Presidential election. Just tossed that in to test Karen's theory I was spamed by a Ron Paul supporter. Let's see if it happens...