Words, damn words, superficial words, and the dumbasses who like to call themselves "wordsmiths" that think of them.

Yeah right...you're just banging away at those letters bent over an anvil, working up a huge sweat while "smithing" the word guess into guess -"timate". Gimme a break, will ya?

In my lifetime alone, I have witnessed the collective retardification of humanity at the hands of words and phrases like Monkey Pox, Bird Flu, the “Super Bug” bacteria, near-earth meteors, global cooling, global warming, SARS, gay marriage, gay civil unions, the teaching of evolution, the teaching of creationism, antidepressants, depressants, fluoride, non-flouridated water, organic foods, inorganic foods, PETA, animals rights terrorism, Islamic terrorism, cyber-terrorism, anti-bacterial soap, something called "flavored coffee", the Cheesecake Factory (is that supposed to convey that cheesecakes are made by sweaty Taiwanese children?), HLV, HTLV, AIDS, Hep-A, Hep-B, and Hep-C (which I hope isn't made by the Hawaiian Punch people)...smart bombs, dumb bombs, bombshell, car bomb, bombed out of my mind, dropped a bomb, threw a bomb, and the always popular sports analogy: We got bombed by the Yankees.


And and I'm not done...

I hate anything with the suffix "gate". Spygate, watergate, monicagate, and if they could do it without offending blacks, they'd probably find a way to criticize the Augusta National Golf Club some more by having "Mastergate" thrown in there as well. Same thing applies to adding the suffix "nater" to a persons name. Look, it's the Mark-a-nater....it's the Brad-i-nater. I have one for you people who want to say that - you're dork-i-naters....each and every one of you.

Feel dumber yet? I'm still not done.

What am I doing now? I'm writing in a log on the web, or web logging, commonly called blogging, which makes me a blogger in the blogosphere, suffering from blogomania, but I don't have a blogroll on my blogspace page, and there are even some really clever folks out there who call it a "blawg". "Like...you knooooew...oooooh my gawd, I have a blawg."


I'm finished, right? Now friggin way, Jose.


Video Log, vlog, vloggers, vlogosphere....you get the idea. Bored folks with a camera who know how to post it on youtube commenting on Obama's latest speech like they're Bill friggin Moyers or something, or else they are filling us with useless information on Linsay Lohan's latest heroin induced spending spree on Rodeo Drive, to which I hate to bother you Californians out there, but the word is Ro-Dee-o...not Ro-daaay-o, you self-serving, fake car-pool lane driving, smog-filled, brain dead, phonies.


Done? Hardly.


Peer pressure, political correctness, open-mindedness, close-mindedness, post 9-11, postpartum depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, Black Friday, Black Tuesday, African-American (or do black people in France call themselves African-Frenchmen?) work permitted immigrants, documented workers, undocumented workers, and the "Agency for Workforce Innovation" (which is what Florida calls the Unemployment Office).

Hang in there, almost done. Has anyone else come to the conclusion that that the very worst of these is barely worthy of a double take or a second mention, or am I the only one? Ok, to finish this thing off:

Senator Obama gave a speech at the....get this....FORTUNE MAGAZINE 2007 "MOVERS AND SHAKERS" CONVENTION in Chicago, and he said if elected president, he was going to stop the use of "Corporate Buzz-words".

I guess "movers and shakers" was exempt.