Say what?

Non-native English speakers often say ours is the hardest language to learn. When you look at it...how could it NOT be? We the people of the United States of America screw our own language up so badly, how could we possibly expect someone from another country to grasp it.

We DON'T screw up our language, you say? Really?

I present to you, lots of examples of how we do it in our daily lives:

Athletes:

Often referred to as Affletes. Many affletes also like to conduct interviews about themselves in the 3rd person. "The onliest person be stoppin' Allen Iverson, be Allan Iverson. Boff of um come at me, annnn they cain't pull da moves dey need...eeever one a dem."

NASCAR drivers and fans: "Ahh don't not know why they was a-drivin' in that layne, but fer sher they wasn't not doin' what the rules say."

Ad agencies: "Do you need a pain reliever that works?" Or...."Are you tired of working 75 hours a week for low wages?"

Famous People:

Brooke Shields: "Smoking kills, and if your dead you've lost a very important part of your life."

Britney Spears: "I love my job. I get to go to a lot of oversea places... like Canada."

Al Gore on Global Warming: "We are not yet prepared for an event that may or may not happen."

President Bush: "I don't know. I don't speak Mexican."

A cooking show host: "Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees." Pre-heat it? Does that mean you turn it on before you turn it on? I mean, how many conditions can an oven be in? I know of heated and unheated. I don't honestly think you can have something called pre-heated.

From the fine folks at PETA:

"People get to eat wholesome and nutritious good food (hamburgers, pork-chops, french-fries, spaghetti, pizza etc.), while cattle, which helps us to produce these vital life-quality-composing elements is eating grass with some phosphates ... " Nope...no idea either! Neither the grammar, the content, or the meaning.

Say good-night Wolfgang.

" In English?"

Never mind. I understand