Today's REAL blog

HI THERE!!!!

This is what I really wanted to blog about, until I had to go and make copies at Cumberland Farms...well...that's another story. (See below).

Question: What is causing the biggest budget deficit in our country right now?

a) The global war on terror?

b) Medicare and Social Security?

c) Gas prices and the housing crash?

d) Al Gore's catering bills, held over from the 90's?

Answer: Although most people think it's A, C hasn't been going on long enough yet, and D is most likely true....the answer is B.

In the mid 1960's, President Johnson was looking for some extra loot to support Vietnam. He peered into the social security checking account and saw $5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00...or thereabouts.

"Holy shit", the first-spender said. "Thar's a sheeeeet-load-a money in that gosh dangit account", he said in his deep Texas drawl. "Nobuuuudy'll notice or nuthin. I'll juss take a little off the top." And so it went for every President from that point forward.

EVERY ONE OF THEM, through the present.

Add in the fact that our senior citizens are having the nerve to live longer, and we have a stressed out Medicare system. 47 million Americans are above 65 and retired. That is slightly over 15% of our population...a figure not seen in our history.

So back to the topic. The medicare and social security are a combined 9 Trillion dollars in the red. Yup. Trillion, with a "T". Of course, I could have just as easily said Jillion, or Xillion, or Dillion, cuz until today I had no idea what a "Trillion" was. Or a billion, for what its worth. I know what 10 million or less is, because I see homes in Central Florida valued that high on a regular basis. I know what a thousand is too. That was what I lost in brain cells daily up until the age of 29 or so. But what is a "Trillion"? I found out today.

There are 60 seconds in a minute. We all know that. 1 million seconds is 12 years. 1 Billion seconds is 32 years. A trillion seconds is 32,000 years, and 9 trillion seconds is 288,000 years. So if each dollar is represented as a second, all we have to do is put a dollar a second back into the system and in 288,000 years, we'll have that bad boy balanced. I should call Alan Greenspan and tell him.

Suddenly, I'm not sweating the gas prices. I'm sweating 2019...or perhaps even 2009...or maybe next Thursday, now that I'm thinking about it.

PS. Altamonte Springs, Florida. Two men armed with pistols robbed a convenience store at gunpoint this afternoon. The suspects remain on the loose. Described as black males, 5-8 tall, wearing clothing that was oversized. One suspect had on a camouflaged shirt of varying colors, the other with dreadlocks tied into a knot behind and wearing a white cap.

Yes, yes...same guys. Doesn't anyone listen any more? So much for good samaraitanism.