Dolly

Illegal immigrant Ana Domingo Lopez Maria Sanchez Consuela Ochoa and her illegal immigrant husband Fernando Valenzuela wade through knee deep water in the town of Los Lostos in southern Texas after hurricane Dolly said hello on 23 July 2008. Both were heading to City Hall to claim their $2000.00 governmental debit cards and sign for their trailer. Upon arrival, they were disappointed in the fact that these perks were not offered this time around. In a transcript from a National T.V. interview, Wolfen Blitzed spoke with Mrs. Ochoa.

Wolfen: "Hi, Wolfen Blitzed CNN."

Ochoa: "INS? No...no INS."

Wolfen: "No ma'am, I'm with CNN."

Ochoa: "No talk INS. You go!"

Wolfen: "I just wanted to know if you liked Barack Obama as much as I do."

Ochoa: "No speaka dee englee."

In a related story, Carlos Domingo Sanchez Vicarrio loads his truck with the "Stop/One Way" sign that was successfully removed from the Weather Channel's Jim Cantore in a 5 hour surgical proceedure last night. Cantore was standing on Corpus Christi beach in 164 MPH winds when the sign suddenly slammed upward and into his arse, forcing his brains through his small intestine, while finally finishing in his head. Hospital spokesman Kelly Olbermann said Cantore can expect a full recovery, and stated she did not feel this will damage in any way his secondary career as Chris Matthews' personal tingling leg massage therapist.

What??? Oh... BITE ME, okay?