I don't like you very much...

1. Cold, raw, veggies.

2. Anything that's been "flavored" to taste like something else. If I want to eat a Hazelnut (if such a thing actually exists), I will. Please don't ask me to drink it in my coffee.

3. People who look at an ATM machine - or anything similar - as if the instructions are written is Sanskrit.

4. Red light runners. Slow the hell down, assholes.

5. Local TV stations that seem to think we all want to watch a full weather forecast every 5 minutes. We don't. Really.

6. Any medium that mentions Paris Hilton, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Anniston, or any of a cast of dozens of people I could care less about. Tell me when and how they die, and I'll be good with that.

7. Reality TV. The idiot that originated this crap should die by lethal injection. On regular T.V. CBS could call the show, "UNsurvivor."

8. The phrase "Red State" or "Blue State". Shuddup already!

9. Corona beer ads that are filmed in Tahiti. Show some drunken slob sleeping in his own vomit in front of the 5th street pub. More realistic.

10. Sports analogies like "Battle" and "It's a war out there." No, no, no, no, no. It's a war in the Middle East and Afghanistan. It's a GAME in the the Metrodome or Pro Player stadium. Just a game.

11. Staying with sports cliche's...can we take away "What he brings to the table" as well?

12. Flying. Actually...crashing.

13. The fact that anyone can charge any price for gas. I'm a small government guy, but some things need higher and larger supervision. 87 octane in the city shouldn't be $1 more than in the suburbs. It just shouldn't.

14. Nancy Pelosi.

15. Nancy Pelosi commissioning 43 "Focus studies" in 17 months on how to reduce the price of fuel. 43 friggin studies!!!!

16. Buzzwords, especially the buzzword: "Buzzword".

17. Chocolate. Admittedly, I'm male. Sorry ladies.

18. $1.59 for a can of Campbell's soup.

19. Those nuts that have the red shell. I can't remember what they are called, so I shall refer to them as they taste. Yes, I'm talking about those red-shelled "shit nuts."

20. All current "styles" of men's footwear. Who wants to wear clown shoes? Go back to loafers, please.

21. The addition of "gate" to a word. Watergate, Spygate. How about: "Kissmyassgate?"

22. Weather people who stand on the beach during a hurricane. I pray for one stop sign - just one - to become a permanent earring for the guy in the red slicker. That'll stop that nonsense.

23. Radio DJ's or advertising voice overs who use phony semi-slurred and dragged on voices.

24. Billions spent annually on pills that give you a better erection, while kids still fight off Type 1 Diabetes, Leukemia, and brain diseases.

25. Those ear things that are cell phone extensions, or whatever. The next time I see a person at the mall speaking out loud to no one in particular, I'm going to start talking to them. For example: I'm in Sears, and some woman walks by me and says into her blue ear thingy, "How about 4 o'clock?". I'm going to say, "I have a meeting with my probation officer at 3:30. Can we shoot for 5?"

Peace...