Men

This is for women to absorb and understand. Knowing these little factoids can go a long ways towards understanding your relationship(s).

• Men should never carry an umbrella. It's rain, not sulfuric acid. Water. If a man insists, at the very least it has to be one of those large two color golf umbrella's. If you're with a man who has a foot long black pop-up umbrella, dump him....fast.
• Women who wish their man were more sensitive are wishing for the wrong thing. Crudeness is unacceptable of course, but don't expect us to cry when "Two-socks" dies at the end of Dances with Wolves. Male interior designers are sensitive...but they tend to like other male interior designers, so I guess the choice is yours.
• Nope...we don't need to pull over and ask where Pine Street is. Because we don't, that's why.
• We don't really like cats, and if we tell you we like yours, it's because we want to keep going out with you.
• Ok. About terminology. If we are over the age of 40, we are not now nor will we ever be your boyfriend. We can be a lot of other things, but not that. We're too old to be boys.
• Important dates on the calendar are reserved for Super Bowl Sunday, the Masters, and Thanksgiving and Christmas. The sixth anniversary of our first kiss is not in there. We can and should be expected to know wedding anniversaries and kids' birthdays, for sure. Other than that, end of conversation.
• We absolutely adore a woman who knows the difference between an inning and a quarter, but it's not a requirement.
• Peach and Pumpkin are fruits, not colors. Speaking of fruits, the aforementioned interior designer knows what Peach paint looks like. Ask him.
• If you want to call it a sofa, that's fine with us. Likewise, us calling it a couch should be fine with you.
• Campbell's soup IS cooking. Yes it is. It involves a pan with a handle and the stove. That's cooking.
• We're simple creatures. When we say nothing is wrong, we actually mean it. You however....
• Generally speaking, we try to handle our emotional needs internally. It's not that we're experts on the subject...it's because we don't believe in making someone else shoulder our burden. Are you listening out there?
• Mega-important rule (especially for blogger women). The fact that you had a few bad relationships/marriages is not necessarily the fault of the male of the species. Believe it or not, you could be the problem. Really. It just might be you.
• We love you, but are sometimes remiss at showing/saying it. We need you, but are reticent to admit it. We would be lost without you, and we're too stubborn to ask for directions on how to get un-lost.

But don't get cocky, alright?